Ada satu mamat ni kat lab aku, kita panggil dia L je la. Rupa dia agak intimidating, sbb dia simpan jambang, tp x de la nmpk tua, dlm 30-an kot. Dia selalu busy atau buat2 busy, xtau la, sbb kdg2 aku tgk dia dok menonton movie kat YouTube pon ada gak. Or sometimes aku caught dia skype dlm bahasa ibunda dia. Anyway, dia yg paling sikit skali berckp ngan aku, x tau sibuk ke apa ke. Main angkat2 kening je kalo nak helo kalo aku masuk lab. Pas tu dlm beberapa kerat je manusia yg dlm lab aku tu, dia yg paling technical skali kot kerja, sbb yg lain2 byk Art-based students kan, mamat ni computing based. Lagi la aku intimidated, mesti terror giler nih dia nih. And aku pernah tgk skrin dia bukak Weka Tools yg aku guna masa MSc dulu. Huh, sungguh nosey aku, tp janji sket habuk pon aku x sentuh brg dia eh.
Minggu ni Prof aku ke London bersama beberapa students dari lab aku, ada meeting. Yg tinggal, aku ngan L ni aje. Masa dia tgh wat kopi tu (tanda2 org nak break kejap), aku memberanikan diri utk buat2 kawan ngan dia, plus, yeah, I got bored. Aku tanya dia tahun berapa, apa projek dia, bla blah blah..
Rupanya mamat ni dah tahun 4. Sangkakan baru tahun 2. Tu yg dia busy slalu tu, sbb scholarship dia dah nak habis. Pas tu baik plak tu org nya. Kitaorg bincang2 psl research,and also life back at home, hinggakan aku bole confided in him yg aku sebenarnya cam stuck sket programming, plus aku intimidated by org kat lab sbb aku rasa aku paling sket skills in techical part, and juga musical part. Terus dia ckp, dia masa dtg pon sama mcm aku, if not lg teruk (x tahu la betul ke x kan?). Dia hanya tahu sket2 je Java, sampai sini la kena blaja Matlab, lagi baru nak tahu tools tu, tools ni. Sometimes berbulan2 blaja satu tools tu, last2 x related pon. Lagi dia ckp, ada aje hari2 yg dia dtg, stare dekat blank skrin sampai balik, sbb x tahu nak wat mcm mana. Aku gelak. Aku ckp la, aku pon ada feeling cam tuh, tp nnt aku x leh tido mlm sbb aku guilty. Dia gelak, ‘You’ll manage to get past that guilty feeling later on.’
Semua2 benda tu amik masa, kata dia. Dah la masa dtg dah yakin nak buat suatu projek tu, skang ni mmg dah menyimpang habis dah, kata dia. Mmg kita akan rasa mcm bazirnya la masa baca macam2, and when it comes to writing stage mcm dia skang, dah x berguna sgt apa yg dibaca dulu sbb only a small portion je related. But you need to read, otherwise you won’t get a broad knowlodege of everything. Document everything, pesan dia.
Dia kata setakat nak develop something, it’ll probably take a year maximum, but the learning process and the maturity that comes with it, itu yg amik masa lama. So dia pesan jgn takut, tp jgn plak take it slow. Awal2 mmg nmpk cam x de progress, but without knowing, you will already have learnt a lot. Aku rasa betul sgt apa yg mamat ni ckp. Sbb dlm span yg 3 bulan ni pon, aku masih x keruan, tp I think it’s not all wasted down the drain. I know more than I ever knew about Concatenative Music. Heck, dulu nak sebut pon x bole, let alone nak tahu apa kejadah Concat Music ni kan? Granted, kalo aku terror programming aku dah probably lebih cpt wat keja drpd skang nih, but this is my course, and biar la kalo aku kena amik lama sket drpd org lain pon. It’s part of learning la kan.
Lebih best lagi, dia apologize kat aku. Dia kata, ‘Maybe I should’ve been more welcoming. You came at a very awkward time. Everyone here is already finishing their thesis, so everyone already has an absolute goal to work to. It never used to be this way. The lab used to be so full of people. We were closed and was a very strog group. We had lunch everyday together. And then we would just jammed together, or go out for drinks, or even go someplace together. And you could come in in the middle of the night and there’ll still be people sleeping in the lab. Now, there’s just 4 people left, coz everyone is finishing.’
Oh. Begitu rupanya keadaan lab aku yg hidup segan, mati x mahu ni. Mmg pernah wujud la environment yg begitu, yg mana org buat xmas celebration ke, party ke, blah blah blah spt yg aku slalu dgr, tp Prof aku nyer approach is habiskan satu batch dulu baru amik batch baru. Mamat ni ckp, ramai yg mohon nk jd student Prof M, tp dia dah 2 tahun tau x amik student baru, sbb nak abiskan batch by batch. Oh takut nya!
On the bright side, a lot of people are finishing, and dgr khabar nya mmg Prof M nak amik student baru for next term. Mmg benar la kata mamat L td, sbb org lain dah so ahead, x kan la aku x psl2 nak ajak discuss psl preliminary ideas ke, Tanya psl resources ke etc. X sesuai.
Ok. At least aku dah tau yg mamat L ni ok sebenarnya. Mungkin dia pon segan nak ckp lebih2 ngan aku, sbb aku pompuan. Mungkin jg sebab dia ingat aku Muslim, so x leh ckp ngan org laki ke? Mana la tau kan? Btw, aku ckp gak, lab ni x de pompuan ke? Terus dia gelak besar, dia ckp, dulu ada minah ni, nama dia Q, tp dah balik China dah. Budak tu pon slalu tanya soalan tu dulu2. And slalu gak kena bully sbb ke mana2 diorg pegi, Q sorg je la yg female, so target yg senang la utk dibuli.
L ckp skang dia pon rasa bosan, sbb dah x de geng. Tu yg dia nak siap PhD cpt2 tu. Nak balik negeri jg. Tp di kata, kalo ada apa2, jgn segan ye minta tolong dia. Baik rupanya hati dia. Kitaorg leh plak borak sampai benda personal. Dia siap ckp dia ada makwe kat London, tp dia x tau benda tu akan work out ke x, sbb dia nak kena balik Negara dia after PhD. At least aku very lucky, dia kata, sbb dah ada family. X payah pikir camne nak settle down lepas ni. Personal info tuh dia share… Dia start PhD pon masa umur aku, so hopefully, aku pon dpt grad right about his age la nnt… Insya Allah…
Oh, and you know what? Masa nak balik sat ni, dia siap masuk bilik aku and wish, Good Bye. See you tomorrow, tu. X pernah2 buat. Kira ok la ek lab mate aku yg baru tp dah lama ni?
Poyo je entry aku. Mcm wanita desperate nak cari kawan je. Tp tu la hakikat dia, bila di Negara org ni, hmm… mmg sgt la terasa kesunyian nya. Survival betul. X pe, what doesn’t kill will make you stronger, aight?
Minggu ni Prof aku ke London bersama beberapa students dari lab aku, ada meeting. Yg tinggal, aku ngan L ni aje. Masa dia tgh wat kopi tu (tanda2 org nak break kejap), aku memberanikan diri utk buat2 kawan ngan dia, plus, yeah, I got bored. Aku tanya dia tahun berapa, apa projek dia, bla blah blah..
Rupanya mamat ni dah tahun 4. Sangkakan baru tahun 2. Tu yg dia busy slalu tu, sbb scholarship dia dah nak habis. Pas tu baik plak tu org nya. Kitaorg bincang2 psl research,and also life back at home, hinggakan aku bole confided in him yg aku sebenarnya cam stuck sket programming, plus aku intimidated by org kat lab sbb aku rasa aku paling sket skills in techical part, and juga musical part. Terus dia ckp, dia masa dtg pon sama mcm aku, if not lg teruk (x tahu la betul ke x kan?). Dia hanya tahu sket2 je Java, sampai sini la kena blaja Matlab, lagi baru nak tahu tools tu, tools ni. Sometimes berbulan2 blaja satu tools tu, last2 x related pon. Lagi dia ckp, ada aje hari2 yg dia dtg, stare dekat blank skrin sampai balik, sbb x tahu nak wat mcm mana. Aku gelak. Aku ckp la, aku pon ada feeling cam tuh, tp nnt aku x leh tido mlm sbb aku guilty. Dia gelak, ‘You’ll manage to get past that guilty feeling later on.’
Semua2 benda tu amik masa, kata dia. Dah la masa dtg dah yakin nak buat suatu projek tu, skang ni mmg dah menyimpang habis dah, kata dia. Mmg kita akan rasa mcm bazirnya la masa baca macam2, and when it comes to writing stage mcm dia skang, dah x berguna sgt apa yg dibaca dulu sbb only a small portion je related. But you need to read, otherwise you won’t get a broad knowlodege of everything. Document everything, pesan dia.
Dia kata setakat nak develop something, it’ll probably take a year maximum, but the learning process and the maturity that comes with it, itu yg amik masa lama. So dia pesan jgn takut, tp jgn plak take it slow. Awal2 mmg nmpk cam x de progress, but without knowing, you will already have learnt a lot. Aku rasa betul sgt apa yg mamat ni ckp. Sbb dlm span yg 3 bulan ni pon, aku masih x keruan, tp I think it’s not all wasted down the drain. I know more than I ever knew about Concatenative Music. Heck, dulu nak sebut pon x bole, let alone nak tahu apa kejadah Concat Music ni kan? Granted, kalo aku terror programming aku dah probably lebih cpt wat keja drpd skang nih, but this is my course, and biar la kalo aku kena amik lama sket drpd org lain pon. It’s part of learning la kan.
Lebih best lagi, dia apologize kat aku. Dia kata, ‘Maybe I should’ve been more welcoming. You came at a very awkward time. Everyone here is already finishing their thesis, so everyone already has an absolute goal to work to. It never used to be this way. The lab used to be so full of people. We were closed and was a very strog group. We had lunch everyday together. And then we would just jammed together, or go out for drinks, or even go someplace together. And you could come in in the middle of the night and there’ll still be people sleeping in the lab. Now, there’s just 4 people left, coz everyone is finishing.’
Oh. Begitu rupanya keadaan lab aku yg hidup segan, mati x mahu ni. Mmg pernah wujud la environment yg begitu, yg mana org buat xmas celebration ke, party ke, blah blah blah spt yg aku slalu dgr, tp Prof aku nyer approach is habiskan satu batch dulu baru amik batch baru. Mamat ni ckp, ramai yg mohon nk jd student Prof M, tp dia dah 2 tahun tau x amik student baru, sbb nak abiskan batch by batch. Oh takut nya!
On the bright side, a lot of people are finishing, and dgr khabar nya mmg Prof M nak amik student baru for next term. Mmg benar la kata mamat L td, sbb org lain dah so ahead, x kan la aku x psl2 nak ajak discuss psl preliminary ideas ke, Tanya psl resources ke etc. X sesuai.
Ok. At least aku dah tau yg mamat L ni ok sebenarnya. Mungkin dia pon segan nak ckp lebih2 ngan aku, sbb aku pompuan. Mungkin jg sebab dia ingat aku Muslim, so x leh ckp ngan org laki ke? Mana la tau kan? Btw, aku ckp gak, lab ni x de pompuan ke? Terus dia gelak besar, dia ckp, dulu ada minah ni, nama dia Q, tp dah balik China dah. Budak tu pon slalu tanya soalan tu dulu2. And slalu gak kena bully sbb ke mana2 diorg pegi, Q sorg je la yg female, so target yg senang la utk dibuli.
L ckp skang dia pon rasa bosan, sbb dah x de geng. Tu yg dia nak siap PhD cpt2 tu. Nak balik negeri jg. Tp di kata, kalo ada apa2, jgn segan ye minta tolong dia. Baik rupanya hati dia. Kitaorg leh plak borak sampai benda personal. Dia siap ckp dia ada makwe kat London, tp dia x tau benda tu akan work out ke x, sbb dia nak kena balik Negara dia after PhD. At least aku very lucky, dia kata, sbb dah ada family. X payah pikir camne nak settle down lepas ni. Personal info tuh dia share… Dia start PhD pon masa umur aku, so hopefully, aku pon dpt grad right about his age la nnt… Insya Allah…
Oh, and you know what? Masa nak balik sat ni, dia siap masuk bilik aku and wish, Good Bye. See you tomorrow, tu. X pernah2 buat. Kira ok la ek lab mate aku yg baru tp dah lama ni?
Poyo je entry aku. Mcm wanita desperate nak cari kawan je. Tp tu la hakikat dia, bila di Negara org ni, hmm… mmg sgt la terasa kesunyian nya. Survival betul. X pe, what doesn’t kill will make you stronger, aight?
13 comments:
aku selalu teringat ayat ni:
"kita akan mendapat pengalaman jika kita tidak menjumpai apa yang kita cari"
dan aku percaya sbb dlm dok kena buli dgn dr azim dulu (hehehe) dan juga rakan2 sejabatan, aku tau mcm mn nk handle keadaan lps tu.
kalau dlm bab programming jgn cerita la, kekadang tu aku buat benda utk org dan akhir sekali aku pun tak payah pikir dh sbb dh tau buat. mula2 tu marah la jgk sbb aku je kena buat tp tu la, aku dpt ilmu yg berguna dikemudian hari :D
oh my..kengkadang saya pon rsa poyo nak membuat kawan kat sini. but its soooooo lonely kalau tak buat gittew.
yup.. tht's the key of survival kat negara org ni. make fren with them. as a result.. i feel so happy in my lab. tu yg bley blk lewat kdg2. but yg lecehnye.. byk yg dh abs.. n org br masuk xde.. so i'm losing all my helpful buddied. -sigh-
terkenang ku pada saat kita sama2 buat master di sini..ade je benda dibuat bersama2 hari2...kini...semuanya sepi di sini..uhuh uhu uhuuuu
iso:
tu la, kena bersabar je la ek
miss:
rasa amat poyo. tp terpaksa la. btw, in an effort to buat kawan baru, saya join student society. keh keh... lawak tul rasanya, tp ada byk trips murah2 yg dia organize yg bole bwk family, so I'm killing two birds with a stone here. hope it's good
k dlyn:
tu la, nnt one by one dah habis akan slowly jd cam lab kita kt... tu yg x best tu
eon:
hari2 kita terkenang zaman dulu kala tau... huhu
btw, dah masuk opis ke? cpt nya...
Sepanjang kita baca awak punya entry tu, satu aje dok main kat kepala kita, Mr. L ni dr negara mana, Indon ka?
mrm:
net net... tidak tepat...
mr L berasal dari brazil :)
mrm:
btw, was i giving an impression yg mamat L tu ckp melayu eh? is that it? hehe... saje ter'translate' la plak kata2 dia ke bahasa melayu masa wat entry nih, sbb i still process things in my brain in BM. gotta kick that habit, but not so easy la!
nabil: buat bende? bersama2? hari2? bende apekah itu...heheh sound mcm lucah plak..LOL.. jgn mare oyis..hehehehe
i love this entree..nway bukan di negara org shj tp kami disini pon still mencari & menghargai kwn baru yg same2 buat PhD..so semangat sket nk story pasal research!!
Yeah! You make him sound like an Indonesian la babe :P
Kesian si Brazillian tu, tak pasal pasal telah dimelayukan,he he he...
yzma:
lor.. ke situ plak translation si yzma nih.. but u r true tho, x kira la di mana anda berada,mmg kalo ada kwn2 kita yg baik hilang/terpisah, akan terasa la ketiadaan mereka. sedih ek? cpt2 la semua balik dgn PhD, supaya dpt bersama seperti dulu! miss u all!
mas:
sori2, my mistake. mmg patut tulis dlm BI kot part tu. kalo mamat ni org negara jiran, mmg dah jadi best fren kita dah. terus ckp melayu/indo dlm lab hehe... btw, mamat ni ckp ada accent sket, cute bunyi nya. and masa dia ckp suruh 'focus', ari tu bunyi nya mcm f*ck us. terkejut i u.... nasib x tersedak! hehe :P
update sket:
mamat tu ngan aku dah jd kwn baik wooo... hehe
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