Restore

Alhamdulillah, target utk participants yg diperlukan utk mem-verify-kan my listening test telah cukup. Esok lusa masih ada bbrp org lg nak buat test (mereka agak lewat me-reply, tp aku ambil jg mereka utk test sbb org dah menawarkan diri tu kan, takut2 ada result yg outlier from earlier participants kena keluarkan plak). But syukur lah, target tercapai within a short period of time. Almaklumlah, bukan nya senang nak minta org part a good half hour to 45 minutes of their time utk buat test ni, sudah lah tiada bayaran apa2 pon sbg imbuhan (x de funding sbb Prof aku kata, main project aku adalah framework and development of system aku, not the cognition part, so x dpt sponsor).

Mcm2 pengalaman aku dpt from this, from collecting data from participants secara beretika (sblm ni kan asyik deal dgn simulation je, x perlu ada etika2 ni semua), to slowly building up my confidence (public speaking masa briefing/de-briefing kerja dkt participants and also answer soalan2 susah drpd mereka - ada yg tanya, 'so kalo bukan lay men muzik sebegini, sapa yg dgr ye?'. er... good question, i will get back to you on that', hehe). Also muka harus tebal dan berani mendekati org utk bertanya sama ada mereka sanggup menjadi participants (merasa la jgk jd saleman x berapa nak laku), dan menanam sifat agresif dalam diri aku yg agak pasif ni (emel dan cross-prosting sana sini bak spammer tegar demi menghebahkan jemputan).

Proses ini jg mengajar aku menjadi lebih berserah kepada Allah. With programming, mmg byk jg part berserah pada Allah sbb x reti nak buat, but at least masalah tu sewel sorg2 je lah, x masuk bab mereng nak fikirkan tabiat or schedule org lain. With test involving human, fuhh... mmg x putus2 berdoa agar dipermudahkan, agar dibukakan pintu hati org utk menduduki test tu secara sukarela, agar waktu org sesuai nak buat test tu matching dgn time kita free, agar result tu selari dgn hypothesis kita (erk?!).. mcm lah2 kegusaran spjg proses ni. So mmg belajar that there are some things that are not within or power / grasp, and kena belajar go with the flow (tgk ragam dan karenah org la ni sbnarnya).

Tapi byk2 pengalaman, aku rasa yg paling berharga ialah it has stored my faith in human kindness. Di zaman semua org sibuk mengejar rat-race ni, yg mana semua spt nya engkau engkau, aku aku... ada yg masih sudi berbuat baik tanpa apa2 balasan...

Rata2 semua yg bergelar member aku di Plymouth telah 'terkena' buat test ni (thank you guys, you helped me so much!). Then Za*fi and Ben had gone to the moon and back utk mengerahkan ahli2 lab mereka utk turut serta dlm test ni. They went one step crazier and booked bilik viva / meeting dkt lab diorg utk kegunaan aku for that half day, sungguh terharu *sob sob*. Also Kak Maz*ni, from the Psychology lab further passed my emails to those in her lab (sbb related dgn cognition sket2) and managed to get a few people in.

Then adik2 undergrads di Marjon pon mmg played a big part, thank you so much guys. Like I last wrote, bkn setakat buat test aje, tp siap masak2 kan lg food, and free of charge babysitting kan Aisyah skali hik hik..

Also those yg aku berdamping semasa Open Day two Fridays ago, hampir semua yg bg email list diorg pada aku, menjawab secara baik dan sukarela utk buat test tu. Sungguh x sangka!

Getting non-musicians to do the test was challenging, but it was even more difficult trying to reel musicians in because of the limited number. Dah la network aku x luas kat UK ni di kalangan musician, sbb aku bkn lah composers, per se. Masa Master dulu, perlu cari jg muzik expert, agak senang sbb ada link dgn ASK (then Akademi Seni Kebangsaan, now ASWARA). So this time, ahli lab semua kena paksa buat, even budak practical dlm lab aku pon aku suh buat jgk and thank God mereka tidak membantah.

Tapi the real hero adalah insan2 yg tidak ku kenali, mostly kawan2 pemuzik kpd lab mates aku, dan jg student2 lab mate aku yg kerja nya mengajar muzik teknologi part time di kolej2 swasta. Sungguh aku x sangka masih ada org yg sanggup meluangkan masa sebegini. Imagine, ada je strangers yg reply email suka2 nak buat test, tanpa bayaran, tanpa apa2, dtg ke lab and volunteer. Kami x pernah kenal mengenali, x seagama, x sebangsa, x sebaya. Just got the email and turned up. Bukan dipaksa, bukan terpaksa, bukan dipancing dgn wang atau kredit. Bila aku tanya, 'what made you come here today?', ada yg jawab seikhlasnya, 'I know how hard it is to get participants, so...' or 'Your research sounded interesting, and I'm also working on sound blah blah blah...' etc. But jawapan yg paling ikhlas aku terima adalah, 'Why not?' hehe... Mmg buat hati aku tersentuh... Ini contoh email org2 yg x ku kenali.

This one went one step further and post dkt FB wall dia. Aku pon x post kat FB wall aku hehe. Note: abaikan tulisan di baju budak tu, agak obscene. Yg aku nak point kan, status kat sblh gmbr tu, tp sure korg tgk yg obscene tu dulu kan? kan? haha... Actually, komen kwn dia pada test invitation tu pon agak obscene gak (CONTRACEPTIVE sound synthesis??? hoih, concatenative sound synthesis la, baca elok2, lain makna nya tuuuuu....), but it just goes to show how budak yg nmpk agak busuk or nakal perlakuan di luar, masih baik hati di dalam (utk non-Muslim bole la kot. Kalo Muslim kena la biar baik luar dan dlm hehehe).

Not only were the students in, but a big expert in Cognition was also involved. Although beliau tidak menduduki test tersebut, beliau telah memberi masa dan expertise beliau dlm mengomen design test aku earlier on, and provided me with several literature utk dirujuk methodology terdahulu dari sudut psychology (sound perception). This was all without a charge, and she didn't know me prior to this).

Mungkin human kindness inilah yg telah memungkin Paul Smith, author of book Twitchiker: How One Man Travelled The World by Twitter, mengembara from Newcastle, UK to Stewart Island, New Zealand (~28000 km kalo x silap aku) secara FREE, berdasarkan belas ihsan Twitters yg sudi sedekah kan tiket and accommodation. Dan aku rasa amat membantu membaca buku ni (secara x sengaja) sambil menjalankan misi mencari participants tersebut, because it has at least made me believe that there are humans with good hearts out there who will help you out for nothing.

Tp semua ini tidak mungkin dpt terjadi jika tidak dgn kehendak dan ketentuan Allah Azza Wajalla. Maha Suci Allah yg Maha Pemurah yg telah memudahkan perjalanan kutipan data terakhir ku ini. Alhamdulillah!

To those who have helped with this project, terima kasih byk2. Allah sahaja yg dpt membalas jasa kalian.... Semoga Dia mempermudahkan urusan mu jua, seperti yg Dia telah memudahkan urusan aku, Amin... Lagu di bawah ni I dedicate utk uols okeh? You guys are simply the best!!!

Next task, to quickly analyse the results. Next week ada meeting ngan co-SV!

I may not be able to restore my youth today, but I have managed to restore my faith in human kind at least ;) 

(nak jugak tepek muka sendiri tu hehe)