Monday, November 22, 2010

Managing Stress



Td pegi kursus 'Stress Management' tajaan UoP graduate school. Fuyoo.. stress sgt la tu konon, sampai enrolled and gi kursus half-day tuuu. Masa mula2 signed up tu, mmg rasa bole tahan jgk stress nya aku ni, dgn nak menyiapkan PhD lg, dgn tanggungjawab as wife, mother, dgn keja lg, dgn kekangan masa, kewangan, blah blah blah... mmg kalo ikut2 kan menggunung dah stress di atas diri ni, so better la belajar cara2 nak release dgn baik kan...

Mula2 start course tu, kitaorg disuruh tgk gmbr di bawah ni, and decide which of those 'jelly babies' on the tree tu yg kita rasa mewakili diri kita, and let the class know. I see myself as the one on top left, where three jelly babies are huddled together as a family. Yg ni x ramai sgt org pilih, maybe sebab majority yg dtg masih lg single. Yg thn satu, ramai yg kata mereka yg tengah nak panjat pokok tu, baru nak cari grip tentang research masing2. Yg thn dua or tiga mcm aku, ramai ckp yg tgh duduk safely atas plank tu, mungkin ada yg dah mencapai plateau dari segi productivity. Ultimately, we all want to be org yg paling atas lg ceria itu, meaning graduate with a PhD la kan, Insya Allah.



Then bermula la presentation daripada pakar Health & Wellbeing drpd Faculty of Health Sciences UoP sendiri, Prof. G Russell. Slides yg pertama2 lg dah menginsafkan aku. Slides ni menunjukkan the Life Event Model and the Stress Index. For example, the model states that life event yg paling stress ialah death of spouse, followed by divorce, imprisonment, death of family member, personal injury, ... (please see below). Insaf bkn apa, selama ni rasa mcm byk sgt kekusustan kepala tu, sebenarnya x satu pon x tercatit dlm stress index, meaning x layak nak bg point pon!

Life Event Model
Death of Spouse (100)
Divorce (73)
Imprisonment (63)
Death of a family member (63)
Personal Injury / Illness (53)
Dismissal from work (47)
Diet (15)
Vacation (13)
Christmas (12)
Minor law violation (11)

Then masuk bab diskusi group, ada sorg participant ni, dia nak berckp pon mmg payah and asyik stammering aje (bless him). Rupa2nya dia bgtau, dia ni brain-damaged sbb jatuh drpd balkoni tingkat 3, suffers from epilepsy, so sesekali dtg fits. And movement dia pon restricted, altho dia x payah la sampai kena guna wheelchair. Dah la tu, duduk di Newquay so hari2 travel pukul 5.30 pg dah bgn naik train gi Plymouth. Time spent commuting aje dah 3 jam sehari. Kalo dia ter-over buat keja aje, nanti vision dia jadi blurry, so dia kena rehat dlm sehari lebih mcm tu just tido so that body dia recover. AND he's doing a PhD. Even speaking pon dah already taxing and stressing him out, sbb byk yg nak dikatakan, tp pertuturan dia terjejas akibat accident tersebut. Bayangkan lah... the only thing that gets him through is smgt yg tinggi dan disiplin yg kuat, katanya.

Masa tu mula la dtg rasa malu dgn diri sendiri, dgn Allah apatah lg. Bergenang airmata dgn cerita dia. At least my family and I have good health, I have strong support system from the people I love, a very good supervisor who always make sure I reach one goal to the next, and although x mewah, x la plak aku ni kebulur or merempat. Sungguh aku ni insan pelupa x reti bersyukur, Alhamdulillah syukur nikmat already!

One thing that I realize masa kursus td tu ialah I have a Type A personality rupanya. Sbb tu mudah marah, always rasa pressured about time and urgency utk siapkan sesuatu. But at the same time Type A ni high achievers, so kebarangkalian utk mereka yg buat PhD ni terdiri drpd org2 Type A adalah sgt tinggi. But I have to keep my anger in check from time to time, and sometimes kena belajar just to let go and not to dwell so much on something, especially yg belum pon berlaku lg. Try to be like a dog, kata Prof. Russell. Sket habuk pon x pikir apa2, kalo ada makanan, dia makan, dia x risau esok akan ada lg x makanan ni. Kalo kena marah dgn tuan dia, ok, terima seadanya, tp dia x stress psl lps ni kena marah lg ke x, dan x simpan di dlm hati pon grudges. Generally, anjing ni good mood aje manjang... Ok kalo x suka perumpamaan anjing, bole tukar dgn babies la kot. Kdg2 jeles tgk Aisyah kegirangan x susah hati pikir apa2, tp memikirkan I had my time dah kan, x bole nak jeles lebih2 la hehehe..

Kenapa kita ni jd stressed? Dari segi psychology nya, it's due to the perceived demands versus the perceived ability to cope. Ok utk laymen seperti aku, kita stressed due to pressures, workload and expectations. BUT what makes the task worst or more tolerable is due to our own perception of our ability to cope with those stressors. Contohnya, kita ada report nak kena buat, and awal2 lg kita dah perceive it is difficult, maka mmg sampai ke sudah la susah, and all the way berkerut2 la dahi kita nak menyudahkannya. Instead, kalo kita siang2 lg perceive that it's do-able, insya Allah kita akan bole buat, dan x satu pon uban extra naik di kepala. Tp jgn sampai tahap underestimating the sheer size of the task ye!

Sbb tu factors such as experience, skills, training, mental and physical health, serta support from others juga memainkan peranan yg penting. Support ni ada dua: (1) Tools - SV, library, facilities; (2) social - family and friends. So berbalik pada cerita report td, kalo kita mmg know the area well, we have written a couple of reports before so that we know HOW MUCH time we roughly need to finish it, badan kita pon sihat walafiat, and SV selalu membantu, serta resources pon readily available, mmg bertambah2 kurg la stress kita semasa menyiapkan.

Stress ni, kalo dibiarkan berlanjutan, mmg affect kesihatan tubuh badan. In small doses over a short period of time, stress ni bagus utk kita bcoz the rush and adrenaline of meeting a deadline, say, gets you where you needed to be. But over a long period of time, bila sampai tahap chronic stress, it can affect our immune systems, so that we are more susceptible to colds, and then bole lead to penyakit2 lain spt candida, eczema, diabetes, hypertension, migraines, asthma, cardiovascular problems, etc (nauzubillah).

So utk mengelakkan kita drpd mengalami stress yg berpanjangan, kita kena la jaga beberapa protective factors ini:

(1) Jaga badan i.e. exercize. Ok, yg ni aku guilty. Aku rasa brisk walking sudah tiada kesan nya lg pada aku sbb buat hari2. Aku skang mmg berniat nak exercise balik, even just kalo buat stretches and a bit of weight pon it's something.

(2) Jaga hati i.e. leisure activity. Cari leisure acitvities yg kita suka, and spend some time doing it. X kisah la, traveling ke, sports ke, to the pub with friends ke (kalo ko non-Muslim lah!), music ke (main Gamelan counts la kan?), or just curling up on the sofa berebut duvet dan remote control dgn anak dan suami pon kira ok la tu ngeh ngeh...

(3) Jaga hubungan dgn manusia. Of coz, yg priority nya jaga hubungan dgn org2 yg terdekat dgn kita la, spouse kita, anak2 kita, ibu bapa kita, family kita. Then jaga hubungan dgn kawan2 kita dan org2 sekeliling kita. Walaupon kita rasa diorg x de la memberi impak sgt pada kita, tp sebenarnya friendship ni mmg menjaga well-being kita. X caya, cuba la cari gaduh dgn kawan baik kita, hah... mmg x leh buat kerja la seharian tu jawabnya, sampai lah dah Ok balik. Kalo bole buat pon sebenarnya buat2 OK je, padahal dlm hati berkecamuk jgk, tp ego nak mintak maaf la tu hehehe. Kalo hubungan dgn manusia ni kita x jaga, mmg senang sgt nak kena depression.

(4) Jaga hubungan dgn Allah. Yg ni mmg dia x ckp, tp aku tambah sbb aku rasa readers aku majoriti org Islam kan. Kalo hubungan dgn Allah lemah, mmg hati lg senang tersampuk syaitan la jawabnya (diri sendiri malu jgk ni, tp demi sharing, ku tulis jua).

PS: Eh ayah, kenapa rasa mcm Ayah pernah bgtau dah eh benda ni? Mesti dah lupa la ni, tp Alhamdulillah dah diingatkan kembali...


Lps habis diskusi psl stress ni, kitaorg got up and did Office Aerobics, diajar oleh one of the fitness instructor di UoP. Mmg bole buat di dpn PC aje sebenarnya, sambil2 berehat dlm 20 minit. Mmg terus rasa regang habis badan, siap rasa segar lg lps tu. Yg asalnya bdn x flexible langsung, suh tunduk pegang kaki pon paling jauh bole pegi is as far as my ankles, lps buat office aerobics ni terus bole pegang lantai sampai tapak tgn flat on the floor lg okeh? When was the last time I could do that?!

Nak cerita pjg2 pon, aku rasa susah jg sbb x kan nak aku lukis ilustrasi plak kan. Bole search kat Youtube ajeoffice aerobics ni, I'm sure ada. So remember, stretch la slalu to combat stress! Selain menyihatkan, posture pon jadi bagus kerana tidak lg slouching (sbb dah elongate kan semula our hamstrings) dan cheeks pon jadi rosy ala2 pakai blusher sbb huffing and puffing (perit gak stretching after dah duduk berapa lama ni kan).

The last part of the course ni ada seorg PhD student yg baru aje lps viva on Monday dtg share cerita dia dgn kitaorg. Cerita perjalanan PhD dia la, ups and downs, challenges, stresses blah blah blah, yada yada yaa... Aku x stay lama sgt sbb lps tu nak kejar solat Asar.

Ok, maaf coretan kali ni terpanjang plak. Bkn apa, hati aku tersentuh dgn pengisian kursus td, maka aku nak share ngan you guys what I learnt, just coz I love u all...Semoga sama2 kita beroleh manfaat nya.

Have a great and stress-free weekend y'all!



12 comments:

tunfatimah said...

Thanks for sharing this oyis. i really love reading it. And thank you sebab i pon terinsaf baca and terasa perlu muhasabah diri. Btw kenapa i tak ternampak jelly baby yg kat atas sekali tu - konon2 nak try jugak pilih which one most related to me. haha.. mesti otak i dah block, belom sampai tahap tu lagi haha.. i jelybaby yang senyum sorang2 very contented (over relaxed!) lah tu konon.. :p

Mama Zharfan said...

thanks for sharing :) me dh nak submit my thesis, Insya Allah, sblm krismas..Amiin

Oyis said...

tun:
tu la, patutnya jelly baby yg paling atas tu dia lukis besar2 sket and senyum kasi lebar jgk, ini x, ala2 suam2 kuku je senyum nya... hmmm... i rasa u yg duduk tersenyum simpul kat bwh jelly baby yg dah grad tu kot. coz you're nearly there pon dah kan? apapon, asal jgn jd yg buat terjunan tiruk tu dah le. kes give up and suicidal tu teruk tu hehehehe... oh and mmg menginsafkan ek? before this i tot what i have to face tu mcm too much la, lps balik kelas ni terus tukar my perspective!

mamazharfan:
oo bagus2. maknanya nnt insya Allah sempat la viva and correction semua sebelum balik next march ye kak suzie? ni pon kes dah nak mencapai puncak gak ni, well done!

mast@work said...

tq for sharing info ni oyis.. kalau kat sini buat kelas gini alamat aku la yang tak paham.. huhuhuhu

Leeds Al-Malique said...

thanks for sharing, oyis! :)

3 kali baca supaya betul2 masuk dalam otak & hati hehe

isabelle said...

ish..kalo mamat tu pun boleh survive, malu sgt la i kalo x boleh.
dah la yg dlm index tu...err.. macam xde je. *tgh scroll balik, nak cari jugak, tapi still xde* :P

ayin masliza said...

thanks oyis for sharing... I memang dlm kategori owang yg selalu stress dan pemalas nak bersenam...... heheheh.. camner tu yer?

kalau stress, i makan.. hehehe... kalau geram kat orang lain, i makan ketam... bila ketam tu semua hancur kena kupik, kena makan.. i lega...... maybe sebab i imagine i makan owang tu kot.. hehehe...

dari~ummie said...

salam kak oyis,
i really love to read your blog..alhamdulillah..so here it is,
my 1st comment..hihi (^^,)

teruskan usaha menulis akak! gudluck!

Oyis said...

mast:
mmg semua aturcara pon dlm bahasa nihonggo ke mast? mencabar extra tuh!

leeds:
wow, baca sampai 3 kali tuh. Alhamdulillah kalo membawa manfaat utk semua. ilmu milik Allah, sama2 kita share...

isabelle:
Alhamdulillah, kita org x de stress lg la kita2 ni ek?

ayin:
fuih mkn ketam tu. dah lebih 3 tahun kot x mkn ketam. bila dtg UK lg la payah.. stakat crab stick tu ada le... alamak, x psl2 ternampak semangkuk tongkang pecah penuh berisi ketam. yum!

dari~umie:
thanks for reading and commenting. moga ukhuwah berpjgan.. :)

Min Aina Ila Aina said...

Salam, macam mana nak tau kita dalam Type ape ye. Teringin juga nak tau diri sendiri ni macam mana.

Kalau ikut mcm cerita Oyis tu...saya ni dah ada ciri-ciri
'anjing' tu.Over relax kot.haha.

Liyana said...

Oyis, thanks for sharing. InsyaAllah ada kesempatan nanti I'll dedicate an entry about my experience pulak. I seldom discuss that in my blog throughout my PhD journey.

NenekPenne said...

divorce memang mengstresskan... kalau tak cukup iman, boleh jadi gila ... sib baik i okay tapi mula2 kena tu memang down laaaa....