Lately ni, spjg holiday melihatkan aku yg mmg menjadi ala2 jaga bgnan kerna dari pg sampai ke mlm duk kat lab. Kerja byk, and I have promised my SV AND MYSELF, that this work that I am doing will not go beyond January. Plus, I have a paper to submit to a conference in London yg Prof sudah janji nak bg gula-guladitanggung cost conference nya kalo published, also due this January.
Bila kerja lebih masa, biasa nya otak mcm masih OK, tp badan sudah KO. Lenguh la, letih la, mata nmpk dua (kes ngadap skrin lama), perut lapar keriokk keriokkk kerieeekkkk la (dah mcm bunyi modem dolu2 utk connect internet). Tp x pe la, Alhamdulillah, buat je la setakat termampu. Ni Tuhan nak bg ingat sket pada Pencipta, x semua yg kena pelan bole buat, dpt dibuat sbb kita ada batas. Nama pon manusia. Tp tu la, rasa kurg puas hati dgn diri sendiri. Apatah lg, rasa mcm masa tu bolos jari2 ni, x dpt nak dikejar. Mungkin time mangement sendiri yg agak x efisien.
Kdg2 terbit rasa, apa benda la yg aku buat ni? Betol ke? Berbaloi ke? Mcm hampeh je... Ke nak stop aje kat sini? Eh, tp pemikiran mcm tu mmg buang masa dan sia2, so letak tepi cpt2. Tanya jgk si Al member se-lab ni, champion PhD kita yg dah ada dua Doctorates, and mmg dia jawab 'itu normal. Nnt dah writing, it will all come clear' (aku paraphrase la kan, sah2 la). I hope he's right!
Apapon, aku suka kata2 akhir Al td, "You've just gotta have faith".
Faith in yourself, faith in your SV, faith in your work, and most importantly in God. (Al is 1/4 Catholic, 3/4 Buddhist - don't ask me, but those were his words :P).
So at this stage yg aku rasa seakan2 lost, I just have to keep ploughing forward and believe that Allah will bring the rainbow, after the rain. Lihat shj gmbr2 yg aku snapped td, siapa sangka langit akan cerah terang benderang sebegini, sedangkan hujan semalaman, siap basah nak hantar Aisyah ke sekolah, dan tong2 sampah plak bertebaran atas jalan raya (kuat nya angin). Mmg x kan sangka lah sebelah ptg nya langit cantik gemilang mcm ni, SubhanAllah..
It's all possible, tuan2 dan puan2. Semua kerja Allah. Just gotta have (and importantly, maintain that) faith! ;)
7 comments:
erm tu la, keno ingat sokmo dlm diri...tp gak meme sokmo raso nk give up kan?
hey you.. i know you can do it!! Believe in yourself.. PhD will be yours soon insyallah!!!
u r almost there, dear.
insyaAllah sikit je lagi tu.
I ni baru terhegeh-hegeh..start pun belum :P
caiyok!!
we can do this oyis. dah 3/4 of the way dah ni....only 1/4 more to go.
yatie: meme dah. time2 ingat gak, kena la cpt2 istighfar and nginsaf dih ;)
the-other-not-so-geek-side-of-me: doa2 kan i eh.
isabelle: it's this leg of the race yg paling menyesakkan. it wot get any easier, sampai lah dah submit corrections esok
sabb: i know! bertabah lah kita ek sabb
tu lah, allah beri angin sket utk kasi keindahan pula lepas tu
subhanaallah...
Sedih kenang nasib diri yg selalu stuck kt satu2 problem research smpi rasa hampir nak give up...tpi ku teruskan jugak, dgn harapan Allah bagi jalan penyelesaian akhirnya... amin...
Post a Comment