Friday, July 2, 2010

Cookie Cutter World

For a couple of days ni asyik x puas hati psl mcm2, but as I've come to realized (with a lot of help from Che Fadh juga, thanks!), a lot of the dissatisfaction tu stems from my own high expectations and ketidak boleh terimaan aku dlm menangani perkara2 yg tidak spt dalam pelan asal (read: kurg redha dgn ketentuan). Which lead to frustration, and inevitably, unnecessary stress.

And I admit, mmg very stressful bila kita cuba fit into this cookie cutter world - to be the best Mom, give only the best things to your child, write only the best papers, obtain the best results, be the best this, be the best that... blah blah... who the hell defines best any way?

And then when it's not about being the best, it's about dodging the 'worst title' plak (in my context, it's parenting skills). Especially when you are befriending a lot of mat salleh friends, where their definition of parenting is somewhat different than kita2 org Asia. Take, for instance,

* Aisyah sleeps way past 8 pm? *gasp!*
* Aisyah is still being breastfed? *gasp!*
* Aisyah has her snack in front of the telly? *gasp!*
* Aisyah co-sleeps with you guys? *double gasp!*

Kira tersgt kurg berdisiplin la hamba nih pada mata depa. If only they knew that in Msia, i.e. budak2 tido lebih lewat, naik kereta x pakai seatbelt duduk seat depan lg ada, budak2 kena cubit, babap, pukul tu biasa2 aje, aku rasa mmg pengsan terus diorg nih.

Mula2 tu sedih jg, tu yg jd mcm stress, like, God, we have to wean Aisyah NOW! We have to get her a separate cot NOW! We have to force her to drink milk AND eat her veggies NOW!

Rupanya NOW! NOW! NOW! ni buat semak jiwa je. There's no one particular right way to do parenting, and the sooner I accept that there is nothing wrong with MY style, and not comparing it to others, the quicker I get my sanity back.

So hari ni slps berbual2 dgn Hubs on the way to work (if you count me membebel and komplen spjg2 perjalanan sbb x puas hati dgn basically EVERYTHING under the Sun, that is), I decided to take Hubs' advice to heart - to change an unfortunate circumstance, you have to change your attitude first.

So yup, hari ni nekad to start the day dgn segala kuasa positif yg ada. Bersangka baik dgn Allah, melebihkan senyum, bersangka baik pada manusia dan bersangka baik pada diri sendiri. And to my surprise, hari ni byk benda baik yg happened, things I didn't think was possible pon terjadi jg. Pintu rezeki pon terbuka jg. I even found a one pound coin underneath a seat today! Alhamdulillah.

My friend pon ada bg nasihat gak smlm, he said, "Remember, you are only human, not a machine. And humans are not perfect. But even with your imperfections, God, whoever God is to you (dia ni non-Muslim), He will love you and forgive you no matter what. So just be true to yourself, and let Him take care of the rest."

So pesanan utk diri sendiri, x payah la nak try to fit in this cookie cutter world. Just be and love myself for who I am.

Speaking of cookies, look what Aisyah brought home from nursery today.

It's an icing-covered cookie!

It's her first go at bakery la kot. I have a suspicion that diaorg bukannya made the cookie from scratch, maybe that's for older children like 4 or 5 years mungkin la diorg uli tepung and bake, but as for now, rasanya the actual cookie tuh hanya lah store bought, and then they let the children spread the icing and sprinkle some hundred and thousands on top je kot.

But still, I find it quite amusing. What a brilliant activity utk budak2 2 tahun! :)

And my heart melts tgk effort cikgu2 diorg nih suh budak2 bawak balik cookie hasil tgn masing2 dalam basket kertas. Fuh.. presentation matters tahu!

Akhir kata, best mother ke, worst mother ke, all mothers are blessed with the best child(ren) from God, so bersyukur lah!

OK that's all to end the week. Have a nice weekend, all!


azura said...

hehehe rilek la dear..antara org malaysia pun kdg2 cara didikan antara one parents to one parents pun differ. yang penting kita yakin ngan apa yang kita buat dan tahu itu yang terbaik untuk anak kita :)

tak mo tensen2 ek :)

WaNNi said...

ada benda yg ok ikut mat saleh ni macam co-sleeps sgt tak sesuai utk ibu yg tido ganas mcm kak wani. botol susu pun kak wani buang bila umo 2 tahun, puting pun gitu. tapi pelik kenapa la tak galakkan breastfeed after 6 mo. tapi lain2 kalau teacher nurin bg komen yg ala2 macam kite tak reti jaga anak kak wani campak je ke laut. budak baru 3 thn tak yah la strict sgt.

kalau nk stop bf atau botol sekarang ni dah tak boleh main letak nescafe atau minyak cap kapak dah..kesian kat anak. sekarang ni kena main cakap n terangkan kenapa stop. mcm kak wani nk stop guna botol kak wani tunjukkn susu dlm tin yg nk abis n ckp kt dia bila susu ni habis botol kena buang. tiap kali buat susu tunjuk kt dia. insya'Allah anak fhm.

Anonymous said...

hello oyis...jangan sedey2...happy sokmo ok!!!

mama zharfan said...

sweetnya cookies dlm basket tu :)

Heartilyina said...

kiter blk mesia lg tensen org komen mcm2. kt sini xde sapa nk komen. btw kalau org jepun lain plak. slalunya co-sleep je dgn anak2 kecik sbb rmh kecik especially kalau bf so that bb rasa secure. lain tmpt lain. maknanya xde yg betul n xde yg salah la kot kan. ikut kiter je mana yg sesuai. jgn sedih2 ye kak oyis :D

Oyis said...

it's just one of those days.... ;P

k wanni:
tu la, x paham kenapa diorg punya mindset ni kalo BF je sampai 6 bulan je, meaning that diorg pon x de la 100% betul sgt. must remind myself next time, kalo ada mommy talk mcm tu lg, x payah nak amik hati or get sucked into a mommy competition lg. as long as we know what we do is best for our child, cukup, kan?

thank u for ringing me. x sangka siap tepon tanya my well-being :)

bila mkn, mmg sgt2 sweet pon. biasa la, omputih ni, semuanya extra sweet, sweet, sweet!

ooo kat jepun mcm tu plak eh. rasanya kalo omputih ni tgk lifestyle omputih mmg terkezut la dia agaknya. likewise, org jepon kalo tgk omputih nya lifestyle pon bole pengsan kot (e.g. pakai kasut dlm umah selamber je heheh). i guess u've made a point, there is no right way to doi it, but kena do it according to a lot of other external factors jg, spt background, culture, beliefs, etc. thanks!

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