Wednesday, May 13, 2009

We're In the Same PhD Boat

I had been under a lot of stress lately, juggling work, motherhood, Ministry of Finance (isu elaun ciput la, apa lg), pumping, etc etc... Hari ni I had a refreshing chat with a few different friends yg sama2 tgh wat PhD, and they kinda turned me around.

Shue had said, 'PhD ni mmg susah, but struggle belajar tu sbhgian aje. Sebahagian besarnya struggle nak manage life and things and things that go around whilst trying to get that PhD'. And I have to agree with her.

I'm feeling the heat right now, but talks with frens made me realize that everyone who steps into the world of PhD goes through amost the exact same thing. Be it male or female. Single or mother-of-six. Social science or Physical Science. Semua org ada bhg masing2. We're all in the same boat.

PhD mmg mencabar. And kita pernah dgr kes2 org bercerai berai, laki kawen lain, ahli kluarga meninggal, ahli kluarga sakit, semasa buat PhD. And that is satu cabaran yg berat. In real life, I know of friends yg terpaksa berpisah ngan suami n anak2, coz elaun sket x cukup nak sara semua, or suami kerja x dpt unpaid leave. Or suami x sihat terpaksa stay back. And I know friends yg empunya diri plak x sihat, dlm tgh PhD duk berulang alik ke hospital.

And I have friends yg al-kisahnya di other way around, bini plak di Msia kerana menunggu hari utk bersalin. Or yg terpaksa tangguh majlis kawen kerana kalo kawen awal pon belum tentu bole bawak bini bersama kerana kos sara hidup yg gila tinggi menggunung, maka amik keputusan membujang lah lebih lama lg. Also I heard lots of stories psl rumah tgga suffer bcoz PhD takes a toll in their married life. And even bigger ujian, I know someone who knows someone yg Allah telah ambil kembali anak tercinta yg dipinjamkan sementara di dunia fana ini semasa buat PhD di perantauan. Masya Allah, besarnya dugaan (inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un)

So, yes, slps perbincangan begini, terasa what I'm going through does not even measure up to some others. And aku insaf, and paling penting, bersyukur. Perbincangan ptg ni telah merubah persepsi aku, yg benda2 ni adalah cabaran, dan bkn nya masalah. Maka tabahlah mengharunginya, serta bersemgt la meneruskan perjuangan dan amanah ini....

I know of a few real life friends and oso (online / blogging) friends yg bakal menjejakkan kaki ke alam PhD this coming semester. First off, a big welcome to you guys... secondly, tahniah for choosing to take this move fwd in life. And most important of all, don't be scared, just be prepared. In. Every. Way. I mean it :)

After all, 'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?'

And to Hubs, thank you so much for being here with me. I love you (and bila I buat perangai, and komplen2 bagai org x tahu bersyukur, pls redirect me to rujuk this entry, ok?)

'Cheerish for friends and loved ones now, for in an instant, they may be gone'

9 comments:

zafi said...

Yup believe in yourself! be brave and sail away on your dreams!

Shue said...

Oyis,yes so true..we should support each other. I am glad that you and k.mazni came..kalo tak kera sumbang ah aku..you are strong enough to face this..that's why you have been chosen to face this! :-P

Chaiyok2

isabelle said...

mmm... u r right, oyis.
sometimes i'm worried...wondering what would my portion be?
harap2 semua bjalan lancar.

btw, u buat phd katne ekkk?

Nabil said...

kena ada the anchor that pulls us back in...kalau x kita lost sorang2 kat laut yg tension.

tgk muka anak, tgk muke bini...u know what u're doing is worth the trouble :)

n of coz...bila dah rest time...lupakanlah kejap phd tu.

p/s: nape komen awak ni masih tak set buat pop up lagi? very the leceh one la nak tekan back semula utk baca entry lain lps komen. ^_^

noris said...

zafi:
thx... smg Allah mempermudahkan urusan kesemua yg buat PhD... Amiin

Shue:
yup, yup. good supporting friends are hard to come by, but during these difficult moment, kita kena be for one another. Thx for being a great listener cum advisor :D

isabelle:
salam ukhuwwah kembali :)
thank you. some goes to you. have you started looking for places / scholarship? that is a challenge in itself, bcoz of sooo many documents and procedure kena prepare. I guess the PhD challenge start even waay before we register at the uni. all da best!
i am doing my PhD at University of Plymouth, UK :)

nabil:
yes, mmg betul, tgk / ingat happy thoughts, like tgk anak, bini, suami etc. but the reason i am writing this piece is bcoz i know there are those yg x dpt menikmati those priviledges, sbb anak bini / suami jauh. so it makes me feel like a spoiled brat thinking tht this is hard, coz some ppl might have it harder. apa pon, bersyukur la tht i hv them here with me.

chefadh said...

baguslah entry ni! i like it! lets keep motivated babeh!haha..i'm trying to be as optimist as ever here! takpe..all those hardship lets us check and balance throughout the journey,kan? and hopefully we can ass all the test and gets better over time! amiin..

Oyis said...

che fadh:
amin ya rabbal alamin :)

Badrul Anuar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Badrul Anuar said...

sebahagian dari hidup kita. we still can chose other boat. But why we really want to have this boat? See.. the answer still same. The future is already planned for us.

Aku pun beringat jugak. Bile bercerita pasal Phd, semua jadi takut. Kecut seluruh badan. Because we do not know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Apa2 pun sama2 memperingatkan diri. Bak org kata muhasabah diri.

Semoga kelak di gelar Dr. Noris.