Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The Best Mother-in-Law Ever

It's been a week since Mak left us.

It's been pretty tough. It doesn't matter that we're all in our thirties, fourties. A loss of a mother is the hardest hit. In the span of three years, I've lost both my mom (Umi) and my MIL (Mak). It is very, very sad. Especially since most of my friends around still have both Moms actively around in their lives. Holidays (like right now) are the hardest. Witnessing on FB everyone's happy moments with their complete set of family members without a smidge of envy is a huge challenge. I must remember that Allah loves both of my Moms more and there are reasons why things happen as they do.

In this entry, I'd like to cherish what Mak meant to me. 

My relationship with Mak has been somewhat different from the relationship that I had had with my own Umi. Mak was a more traditional type - she was not the huggy, kissy, touchy, feely type like Umi was. Nor was she the joking poking kind (again, like Umi was, haha). And as a daughter in law, I suppose I was more guarded and behaved more conservatively when she was around - out of respect, as most Malaysian girls are brought up to. But I'm not here to do a direct a comparison of the two mothers. Because Umi was Umi and Mak was Mak.

And Mak was the best MIL for me. 
She was always laid back and relaxed, and let us younglings figured things out ourselves. 
She gave us space to know our errors and learn from it. Even if Hubs and I argued, she would not pick sides (ok, sometimes she would side with me, but that's because the wife is almost always right, right?). 
She was never a meddler (ever) but would give the right advice when solicited. 
If there was anything she was unhappy with me, I certainly never heard it from anyone else - she would tactfully talk to me about it. 
She was very forgiving to have a DIL who neither possessed any cooking skills nor do all things kampungs (I'm sorry, but it is the truth especially at the beginning of our married life tee hee).
She was never a laser-mouth (a label given to those who are sharp tongued), even when most of her siblings were (mostly in a joking manner, but Boy, did I hate those digs dished out at me at weddings or other family functions). 
She never once pressured us into giving her grandchildren (we had waited whilst I was finishing my Master degree -  not all MIL in Malaysia can practice this openly). 
She supported our decision to move temporarily to the UK whilst I did my PhD, even if it meant taking her granddaughter away from her for a good four years. 
She probably didn't have a clue what a PhD was, much less viva voce, but I am very certain that it was her prayers (along with the prayers of others) that got me through it all successfully in the end (and all the other successes in life thus far).

There's just so many other things that made Mak special and I love her for them all.

I hope that one day I will be as cool as Mak was with my daughter in law (whoever that is written to be). I pray this as I stare at Zayd who is currently playing the dinosaur game on the lappy beside me in his jammers, whilst singing 'Lompat si Katak Lompat', oblivious to the emotions his Mummy is going through.

Semoga Mak aman di sana.


Monday, November 28, 2016

Pemergian Mak

21 November 2016. 5.40 am.

A date which all of us as a family will remember for a very long time. 

My mother-in-law, Siti Haji Ali, passed away on this date, at the said time. She was 68. She is survived by a husband, three daughters, two sons, and eleven granchildren - all of whom loved her very, very much.

Mak, as I had fondly called her, had been a stroke patient survivor. It wasn't stroke that took her life away, but several complications which probably had been caused by renal failures. Mak didn't get to do dialysis, for the risks outweighed the benefits (in her case). It was very sad to see her condition slowly deteriorating, and although we knew the inevitable was imminent, it was still a shock to see her go. I guess this is true for any departure.

Mak took her last breath at Along's house in Kluang. Although I wasn't by her side when she passed, Hubs, Abah (my FIL, her husband), and Along's family were there during her last moments. She was well taken care of throughout her illness, something that I highly admire in Hubs. Alhamdulillah, by the grace of Allah, I got to see her a day before she passed (I drove to Kluang that weekend), and she was in a conscious state for that one moment (she had drifted in and out of consciousness previously). She looked me right in the eye, and we spoke, kissed and seeked forgiveness for all of our wrongdoings towards one another (she didn't do anything wrong to me really, I was the one who sinned a lot, I suppose). She truly looked like she was getting better that day, which was why Hubs had advised me to drive back home without worry and things will be taken care of. Little did we know that in twelve hours time, Mak would meet her Creator. I've heard stories from others where by sometimes, just before someone passes over, there seems to be a moment of peace and calm, and it looks like things are going uphill (the sick will start gaining his/her appetite again, or talking, or acting cheerful, etc), only to be rapidly rolling downhill soon after. But whatever that has happened has been set by Allah, and we accept it with Redha in our hearts.

Mak was buried at Perkuburan Batu 6 Bakri, Muar right after Solat Zuhur. She was loved by many and memories of her will forever be cherished. Semoga Allah menempatkan Mak di kalangan org2 yang beriman. 

Sayang Mak.



Sunday, November 6, 2016

Honest Three

Three is the age where everything spoken is out of pure honesty. Which is a positive trait, until something like this happens...

Last Friday, was picking up Zayd from his minder's. As we walked out of the house, another Mommy came in to pick up her son, and Zayd piped up.

"Itu mak Ali! (bukan nama sebenar)," kata Zayd sambil menunjuk ke arah wanita yg berada di pintu pagar.

"Ye ke? Hai Mak Ali," kataku sambil menyengih mesra.

Zayd turut melambaikan tangan kepada Mak Ali yg berjalan melenggang masuk ke dalam rumah. Aku dan Zayd pun memberi laluan untuk Mak Ali ni masuk. Sebaik sahaja hampir berlaga bahu dengan Mak si Ali ni, boleh Zayd membuka mulut dan berkata...

"Mak Ali ni gemuk."

Omagad. Pucat aku weih.

Honesty is a virtue, but it is also a double-edged sword.

Aku harap Mak Ali adalah kurang terang sket pendengaran. The lady isn't even gemuk to begin with. Adoi la Ahmad Zayd...

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Artistic Aisyah

Setiap org ada kelebihan dan kekurangannya. As parents, aku tertanya2 gak apa minat dan bakat budak2 ni, especially  si Aisyah since dia dah 8 tahun ni. Is it music? Is it arts? Is it robotics? Is it some kind of sports? Sewing? Cooking? etc2...

So far, si Kakak Aisyah nampak cam ada bakat seni e.g. drawing and decorating, but it's too soon to tell. Tp mmg dia minat sgt la. Pantang ada masa terluang je, melukis. Kalo spot check dalam beg pun, penuh buku nota extra (bkn buku rampaian sekolah), dgn lukisan2 dia. Kata dia, time2 Mummy lambat amik from school, dia bukak buku dan lukis.

Kalo betul minat dan bakatnya di situ, Mummy doakan moga Aisyah terus passionate dan berjaya dalam bidang ni, Amin...

PS: Pic frame dgn comic strip tu dia buat sendiri sans help.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Aisyah dan Belacan

Kalau smlm kisah Zayd dan Pomade, hari ni ulang tayang sket from FB kisah Aisyah dan Belacan hihi... Saja la bg fair, masing2 dua beradik ni ada air time yg sama dlm blog ni, eceh...


Tgh tolong Aisyah tarik sesuatu..
Aisyah: Mummy, just pull one
Me: I have to pull them all. They stick together

Aisyah: Stick together? Ooo mcm BELACAN?
Me: Kenapa mcm belacan?
Aisyah: Ye la, belacan kan bila satu pergi, yg lg satu lg ikut jg
[Krik krik 3 saat]
Me: Oo u mean BELANGKAS?
Aisyah: Haa.. belangkas. Apa tu belangkas, Mummy?

Oh Your BM!


Thursday, November 3, 2016

Zayd dan Pomade

Tgk.. tgk... sket punya lama dah tinggal blog. Hari tu ada la azam nak sambung tulis kan, tp dah terjadi habit lama balik, yakni meninggalkan penulisan. Ntah angin kus2 apa mlm ni, terasa nak start tulis balik. Sbb x brp nak menjelma idea tu, maka recycle some material from FB bole la kot ek? I try to keep FB separate than blog (as in I don't link my blog to my FB post and vice versa), so kira audience lain ok la ek. Tp if u happen to know me from both world, then you would have read this entry oresi, tp x pe la, anggap anda insan terpilih kuheh3...

Suatu ptg dua minggu yg lalu ketika menjemput Zayd dari rumah pengasuh...
Zayd: Mummy, abg nak 'pomed'
Mummy: 'Pomed' tu apa?

Zayd: Minyak
Mummy: Minyak?
Pengasuh terkekek2 kat blkg menerangkan yg 'Pomade' tu semacam minyak atau gel rambut. Anak dia yg remaja duk rapikan rambut Zayd. Patut segak semacam je belah tepi si Zayd ni. Kebetulan plak rambut Zayd kali ni potong pendek je, x cukur abes mcm slalu (biasanya Upin Ipin style haha), so boleh lah stylo pki pomade. Tua lak rasa bila anak yg 3 tahun lg hip dari mak nya... dah la selama ni duk baca label yg tulis pomade tu dengan sebutan 'pomaderr' (gaya klate nk sebut pemadam). Sbb teringat alat gamelan bali masa belajar kt plymouth dulu salah satu tu disebut pemade (pemader) jg
Sejak tu mmg kerap dia duk tanya, nak pomade lah, nk beli kt mana lah, brp harga lah. Aiyoo.. nak dijadikan cerita, terjumpa bekas pelajar yg dtg upm nk ambil jubah konvo hari tu and dia jual pomade ni. So belilah satu. Jadinya inilah hasilnya (rambut sikat tepi Zayd)... silalah beli Leeman Pomade ni ye... saya x jual, tp tolong promote je😁