X de Quota Dah

Aku sedikit down hari ni. Let me tell you why.

Last week, aku amik cuti ari Xmas hingga ke Sunday cdgnya. Anyway, late Thursday evening, aku dpt satu envelope dari Plymouth U. Oh my God, the long awaited offer letter is here!!! Syukurlah, aku ditawarkan unconditional offer utk start PhD in Computer Music starting April 2008.

Esoknya, aku cancel cuti, terus gi Pejabat Dekan and discuss my next course of action. The dean seemed very pleased, and dia cpt2 suh aku hntr application ke Pendaftar. Nevermind that awal2 dulu dia x brape setuju with this uni, coz katanya, quota utk ke UK ni tinggal 2 tempat je lg for the entire instituition where I work, so i got to be quick. He told me there's a CB meeting next Monday so just try and squeeze in the application before Monday morning.

Imagine aku punya perasaan time tu. Sgt2 berdebar, coz dah la quota nak abis, aku lak kena isi punya gile byk borg, sungguh pening! Dlm berdebar2 tu aku terpaksa mengingatkan diri utk cool, chill and relax, takut2 effect kat baby. We all know that stress is not good for the baby. Even worst, proses mengisi borg ni byk memerlukan dokumen difotostat, dan malangnya kat opis aku ni, semua mesin fotokopi berada di tingkat bawah. Maka terpaksalah aku berjln dgn berhati2 nya turun bwh naik atas, turun bawah naik atas, utk fotostat 1001 dokumen.

The entire weekend aku x dpt tido nyenyak. Asyik la terpikirkan nasib borg aku ni. Ada x quota? Dah abis ke?

On Monday tu aku rushed la hantar kan borg ke Dekan utk dia bawakan ke Mesy CB. Alas, nasib x menyebelahi aku, ptg nya tu Dekan panggil aku ke bilik dia, bgtau the bad news. QUOTA KE UK DAH HABIS!!! Ha? As in habis licin. And aku missed it by one person only.

Ya Allah, sedihnya hati aku masa tu. Aku rasa cheated pon ada gak, sbb aku dah try sedaya upaya utk buat permohonan cpt2. As soon as aku abis MSc aku dah start cari2 tempat semua, but mungkin x de rezeki aku agaknya. Anyway, nama aku diletakkan on the top of the waiting list la... Huhu...

Namun aku tetap bersyukur sbb walau apa pon outcome dia, I still have something even more bigger event to look forward to. Something yg x ternilai pon kalo nak dibandingkan dgn setakat peluang belajar kat UK, the one where I can almost say, been there, done that (minus the PhD part la). And demi baby yg tgh growing in my belly, I will not stay upset for long. X elok. What I WILL do, though, is fight my way through all this and plead my case until betul2 la I can't fight no more.

And as many people have tried to coax me, 'Ada tu quota baru, Insya Allah rezeki anak tu nanti, sampai juga impian kamu tu...'

Masin mulut org sekeliling, makbul la juga doa mereka tu hendaknya. Amin...

WEEK 14 - INFO UPDATE

You are now in your second trimester! Your baby's crown to rump length is 3.2 to 4.5 inches long and he weighs approximately 1 ounce now. Your baby is about the size of the average fist. Now that you are into your second trimester, you may be starting the best part of your pregnancy. You will probably start to feel more energetic and you may get the `pregnancy glow`. Your uterus is beginning to swell week by week and you can follow its progress by locating the top of the uterus. The position of the top of the uterus will continue to gradually move up your abdomen, from beneath the pubic line to above your navel. Maternity clothes are probably necessary now. At this time, your baby's face is becoming more developed. The cheeks and bridge of his nose appear and the ears move from the sides of his neck to much higher on his head. The eyes continue to come closer together. A big development from this week onward is the development of lanugo. Lanugo is the fine hair that grows over almost your entire baby. The hairs grow in whirled patterns that follow the grain of his skin. These patterns later give way to your baby's fingerprints. The lanugo will be shed before birth and replaced by thicker, coarser hairs. Your baby's thyroid gland has matured and starts to produce hormones. If your baby is a boy, the prostate will appear and the ovaries descend from the abdomen into the pelvis in baby girls.

Source:

http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/14

2nd Clinic Visit

Note: 29/12/07.Gestational Age: 13 Weeks 6 days. EDD: 29/06/2008.

Grow Baby Sayang, Grow!

Hari ni tiba masanya utk monthly checkup lg. Kitaorg maintain dekat Klinik Penawar, bawah Dr Sy. Kitaorg sampai tu dah dekat pkl 11 pg dan dah x ramai org.

First things first, as usual, amik sampel air kencing. Bagus, no glucose, hormone hcg still present. Then scan. This part mmg a bit fobia sket, but considering dah end of 1st trimester, rasa teruja pon ada jugak. Once I saw the tiny little being on screen, rasa relieved yg amat. Kalo ikut date, aku dah end of Week 13.

Dr Sy tunjuk kat aku n Hubs jantung baby berdegup2, so jantung baby okay, katanya. Tp pada mata kasar aku yg untrained ni, mcm x dpt nak pastikan sgt, but I'll take his word for it. Yg nyata, baby dah jauh membesar dari last month. Lebih menarik lagi, dia ada gerak2 la sket tgn dia. They say baby at this stage dah bole gerak2 dlm amniotic fluid mak dia, tp mak x kan perasan lagi. I'll take the hand movement as a wave for us la. Tp Hubs kata dia x perasan la plak. Huh...

Lepas dah puas ati scan tu, Dr Sy tanya aku nak resume buat monthly checkup kat sini ke nak ke tempat lain. Aku ckp, sini pon OK. So, dia bukak kan buku merah utk aku, ala... yg standard2 mcm kat klinik ibu mengandung biasa tu la kan. Masa ni dia amik timbangan berat aku, 65 kg. Wah, dah naik 2 kg drpd aku nyer non-pregnant weight dulu. Terkejut juga aku, sbb dlm muntah2 x selera nak mkn pon bole gain weight ke? Dr Sy x terkejut, dia kata, awal2 ni water retention, it's very normal. Ok la..

Then dia amik BP aku, 128/78. Normal la tu. Aku sebenarnya disuruh fasting dari smlm, sbb hari ni nak amik darah, Dr Sy nak check haemoglobin and run a few tests. Hisy.. aku bab jarum marum ni mmg x suka. Dari dulu suruh nak cari salur darah. But mengenangkan sayang kat baby and these tests are necessary (and Hell, byk lg la kesakitan yg bakal menimpa sblm aku dipush masuk ke labour room tu), I might as well get used to it all from early on. Heh... So aku pon surrender la.

Dr. Sy siap2 kan jarum dia. 2 picagari lak tu. Aku kata, 'byk nya nak amik darah, sampai 2 botol?', sampai sengih2 nervous. Ketakutan has crept in. Dr Sy kata, 'X pe, yg saya amik ni, x sampai 5% pon total darah dalam badan.' Chesss...

Yg peliknya, Dr Sy amik darah ni, sket pon x sakit. Almost x terasa. Lps abis sumer2 tu, Dr Sy suh dtg next Saturday utk collect result bloodtest ni and off we went la with a month's stash of obimine in hand.

Dlm keta aku dok puji2 Dr Sy dekat Hubs. 'Sikit pon x sakit, Bang...' blah blah blah. Sampai berbulu Hubs, siap dia tempelak, 'Amboi... mentang2 Dr hensem, amik darah pon x terasa sakit..' Heheheh... Ni nak bgtau sket, amongst my 2 lg pregnant buddies kat opis tu la kan, kitaorg sumer gi bwh Dr Sy ni, and secretly behind his back panggil dia Dr yg hensem2 tu... hehehe.... A bonus la tu... sampai injek pon x sedar hehehe...

P/S: Selepas appointment dgn Dr Sy, kitaorg pegi survey Hospital Az-Zahrah and Hospital An-Nur, saja, suka2. Thing is, I totally what the date today was, and I'm glad I forgot, else x mungkin aku menjejakkan kaki ke area2 near situ. I'm glad today wasn't such a big deal for me ad Allah mmg buat aku lupa what happened this time last year. It made it so much easier for me to get through the day, not to mention betapa blessed nya aku bila instead Dia berikan aku peluang utk melihat tumbesaran anak aku dgn sihatnya sebentar td. Segala puji bg Allah.....

I don't celebrate Christmas, but...

this blinky is too damn cute ...

Who says morning sickness ends after the first 12 weeks?

Dah past Week 12 dah ni... Sungguh tipu!!!!!

(But still greatful, cuma pointing out the truth that it isn't necessarily so)

WEEK 13 - INFO UPDATE

This is the last week of your first trimester and your baby weighs 14 to 20 grams. The crown-to-rump length of your growing baby is 2.6 to 3.1 inches. Your baby is now about the size of a peach. Fetal growth is amazing from now through about the 24th week of pregnancy. At this point of your pregnancy, there is a steady flow of pregnancy hormones in your bloodstream. Your body will adjust to the changes and morning sickness might stop and other early symptoms will begin to ease. Because the second trimester is approaching, feelings of anxiety or nervousness may also diminish. You have probably gained some weight by now. You are losing your waist and your clothing is probably fitting snugly.

Source:

http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/13

Selamat Hari Raya Qurban

It's hard not to think of what happened last Eid, but as Eidul Adha is a day of celebration for all Muslims worldwide, I try to think of all positive thoughts and push aside all that is negative. Besides, this Eid celebration is in remembrance of how Nabi Ibrahim passed a huge test which was bestowed upon him by Allah SWT, regarding his beloved son, Nabi Ismail. What I'd gone through last Eid seemed so miniscule to even compare. I just hope that I didn't fail miserably on the test Allah has given me. And I am just grateful that in a span of one year, He has graced me with another leash of new life, a second chance even. Thank you, Allah..

Happy Eidul-Adha to All..

WEEK 12 - INFO UPDATE

Your baby's crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches and she now weighs between 8 and 14 grams! In just three weeks, your baby's size has more than doubled and begins to look a lot more human. Even though you won't be able to feel your baby moving at this time, you can stimulate him and he will squint, open his mouth and move his fingers or toes.

Source:

http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/12

1st Shopping Trip for Maternity Items

Hari ni aku n Hubs pegi Jusco, Equine Park on a mission - to purchase some new maternity clothes for me. Whoo-ey!

Ini merupakan kali pertama aku membeli belah baju maternity. I don't know if it's too soon, but what I do know is that most of my regular clothes no longer fit. Baju kurung yg aku pakai gi keja tu, meh aku bgtau satu rahsia, sebenarnya dah lama aku x cangkuk hook kain dia, heheh, tinggal zip sekerat jln je. Nasib x pernah ada mishaps apa2 hihihi... Ini tips dari Fadhlina la nih hehehe...

Anyway, Jusco was packed to the brim sbb tgh year end sale. Aku baca2 kat online forum ibu mengandung yg jenama Scarlet ni affordable la berbanding kebanyakan yg lain. Juga tempat yg OK ialah Warta and also kat Nilai. Memandangkan aku ni org kebanyakan aje, dan bukannya org yg ada2, maka aku follow la advice ni. I'll be God-damned la kalo nak shopping kat ModernMom yg overpriced tu, dah la design nya mmg x menutup aurat, sungguh x sesuai ... at least x sesuai utk aku la ...

Back to shopping. Apasal la dlm byk2 brg yg dijual secara sale tu, maternity clothings x termasuk? Makes you wonder what Jusco has against pregnant women. Discriminating beyond belief sungguh. Nak x nak terpaksa la pay in full price. Utk first shopping trip ni, sempat la aku beli sehelai maternity blouse n sehelai maternity pants utk wat gi keja. Konon nak try test dulu, nak amik feel. Pas tu tambah lg 2 helai maternity T-shirts. Satu tu kaler neon pink, satu tu kaler cyan. Yg bestnya, kat sehelai T-shirt tu siap ada tulis 'I Love My Baby' and sehelai lagi, 'Naturally Mama'. Chewah... Ni yg x sabar nak pakai nih...

Babydust to You

I have a good friend who has dealt with a miscarriage before, and I believe that bcoz of the same experience that we shared, we grew closer. Today, I did one of the hardest thing ever.

I told that friend that I am currently P.

Man, I can't even say the P-word in front of her out aloud. It would've been so much easier if we were in it together as pregnant buddies. There's no easy way around it.

She took it well, better than I would've taken it had the situation were the other way round.

Know this my friend....

I am sending you lots and lots of

your way

and

I pray that you will get your

real soon. Insya Allah.

Amiin...

WEEK 11 - INFO UPDATE

Your baby continues to grow and is now approximately the size of a large lime! The crown-to-rump length of your developing child is 1.75 to 2.4 inches. The weight of the fetus is approximately 8 grams at this point. The growth of your baby is phenomenal now and your baby's length will double in the next three weeks. The head is grossly out of proportion and is almost half of the baby's length.

Source:
http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/11

MySEC or My Sick?

Di kala konferensi MySEC rancak berjalan, begitu jua rancaknya keadaan morning sickness aku nih. Walau bagaimanapun, aku cukup berbangga and happy sbb the Gendang Geng did their very best la pada pagi perasmian tu. Pada aku, x de cacat celanya dah, but Wan rasa kurg fluent la flow dia. X pe, cam2 ne pon tetap best. Cuma yg kelakarnya, an avid member, Azree, yg x pernah ponteng latihan tu, tup2 pg tu x de. Rupanya dia pi volunteer nak pickup speaker pg tu dekat airport pkl 7 pg, but somehow flight speaker tu delayed. Last2, terpaksa la performed without him. Sian Azree. Dia punya la pecut sampai ketar2 speaker tu dlm keta dia just to make it back in time, tp kitaorg dah jln dah... Ralat la plak. I wish I could post a pic here of us performing, tp pic tu dlm PC lg satu, terasa kemalasan benar nak gi amik. Sorry la yeh.

Overall, aku rasa konferensi ni berjaya. Malangnya aku x dpt nak masuk all sessions coz the 1st day aku sibuk ngan urusan pergendangan ni la. The second day, aku mmg rasa mual2 aje slalu, nak concentrate pon payah. So aku lebih senang lepak2 kat luar dewan je la. Food dia? Wah... kaw-kaw. Ketam ada, spaghetti ada, lauk mcm2 x soh citer la, x masuk bab dessert lg. Hari 1st tu aku mkn x ingat nyer. Balik umah, terus muntah kuar semua balik sampai lembik. Padan muka aku. So hari seterusnya tu aku mkn beringat2 sket la.

Syabas buat semua yg menjayakan MySEC. Aku ni tukang menempel last minit je. Wish I could've done more, tp aku buat apa yg terdaya saja la. Moga MySEC yg akan dtg lebih best lg. And kalo pon masa tu aku dah sambung blaja kat tempat lain, at least ada mereka2 yg kat Fakulti tu yg bole take over jd instructor, sekiranya khidmat geng gendang diperlukan lg utk wat perasmian. Hehehe...

WEEK 10 - INFO UPDATE

At this point of your pregnancy, the crown-to-rump length of your developing baby is 1.25 to 1.68 inches. It is now easier to tell how much the baby weighs since he is beginning to put on some weight. Your baby weighs approximately 5 grams and is the size of a small plum! The baby has grown an incredible amount during these past few weeks, but you still aren't showing too much yet.

Source:
http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/10