My Very Own Figure Watcher

Hari tu my good blogging-buddy Isabelle ada bukak cerita psl ‘Figure Watcher’. Siapa biasa baca blog Hanis Zalikha pasti tahu benda ni. Aku mmg x pernah ada figure watcher yg tetap, cuma ada la seluar or baju blouse yg bole buat indicator. Normally ianya adalah makin ketat, ketat dan ketat, x pernah la plak dpt indicator makin loose dan loose. So last2 fed-up terus x pernah simpan dah figure watcher tersebut, buat sakit hati.

Anyways, who needs a figure watcher when you have the makcik cleaner?

Ada satu makcik cleaner kat Uni ni, mmg baik la ngan aku, slalu tegur2, tanya psl perkembangan Aisyah. Tup2 tgh kita nak masuk stall bilik air tu, makcik cleaner bole tanya, ‘Are you pregnant?’

Oh. My. God.

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, muka aku mesti merah padam….

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, aku mesti tergamam lama, pastu sbnarnya dlm hati nak ckp, ‘Mind your own business, a$$hole’…

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, aku sure nangis teresak2 lps tu, mengenangkan nasib diri yg pernah pregnant kemudian keguguran, tp tetap la ada pouch di perut…

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, mmg sentapzzz abis la, bad mood dgn semua org, satu hari duk jaja cerita betapa insensitive lg ignorant a person can be …

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, org di alam maya pon akan ku cerita sama kesentapanzzz itu, naik lunyai la keyboard aku taip dlm blog, kutuk2 dan mencarut2 sambil melabelkan org itu sebagai nosey, presumptuous motherfuc*er …

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, jenuh la Hubs mlm tu nak cari jalan nak meredakan bini dia meroyan….

Lima tahun dulu kalo org tanya mcm tu, mula la x bole buat kerja berhari2, obsessing over the fact that aku gemuk, or aku x de anak, or worst aku gemuk dan x de anak….


But this time, Alhamdulillah aku dah bole gelak2 seraya berkata,

‘No, this is just fat,’ sambil mencekak spare tayar ku.

OK, I’m not proud la kan badan dah naik ke apa, but really, can I still complain with the life that I have been blessed with now? Plus I’m not really bothered sbb I have started exercizing too, and eating a little healthier, so give it some time to work its miracles hehe. Kalo kurus tp byk penyakit pon or cholesterol tinggi ke, x elok jg, so amik aje la jalan bersederhana spt dianjur dlm Islam.

Mmg betul la pengalaman dan hardship masa lalu mengajar kita berpikiran lebih matang, menghandle situasi dgn lebih dewasa dan utk tidak cpt melatah. Cuma sambil senyum2 sendirian lps tu, I couldn’t help but list ways to answer this question lightly in the future, such as...

No, this is just fat

No, but three years ago I was

No, I just had chilli and beans for lunch

No, but ask again next month?

No, but my friend (insert name) is – eventho cleaner tu x kenal pon org yg aku sebutkan itu

No, but I would like to be again? Hehehe…

Tak pon jawab je macam Malcolm in the Middle punya lagu tema:
Yes? No? Maybe? I don't know? Can you repeat the question?


Oh well, it's never flattering when it's made known you've gained some pounds, so now it’s either upping my game (more exercise, less calorie), which I am trying to do now anyhow (read my previous running entry), or going to Dear Hubs and shout, ‘Oy, impregnate me! Now!’ hehehe… (just kidding!)