Wake Up, It's Monday!

Feeling malas2 nak bgn di pg Isnin ni? hehe.. Biasalah, lps weekend kan, mesti rasa mcm nak sambung tido/ rehat kat umah gitu on Monday mornings. Ni nak share video seorg budak yg juga malas2 nak bangun. Nak susu dan nak sambung tido tu sama byk hihi... Bcoz dia dah bergerak2 in his sleep, and it was time for his 'breakfast' anyway, I grabbed my cam and kacau2 dia suruh bgn hehe.. Video is a bit dark. langsir bilik x bukak lg masa ni.

I love how dia gerak2 nak bgn, tapi masih ngantuk2. Then when I bg salam, dia jawab 'hmmm..' ackowledging my presence. Bila panggil nama plak, aik, bukak mata sket and senyummm. The best part (for me) is next, when I ask, 'Want to have milk? Nak susu?' Terus bukak mata and geliat. Never say no to milk, katanya. Rezeki jgn ditolak hehehe.. Finally menyedari dia dirakam, terus tutup muka ala2 celebrity lari drpd paparazzi hehe

Have a stress-free Monday, all! (if that is at all possible :P)

  

Quiet Sunday In

We're spending our quiet Sunday indoors today. Wish I could say I had a nice lie-in until 10-11 am, but no, it started early mcm hari2 lain jgk today. Pumping routine maa... then lps tu basuh pump, sterilize equipments, mkn breakfast (sorg, org lain tido lg), mandi, and sempat plak buat kerja yg mana deadline nya mid May ni. Around 9.30-ish, adik, kakak pun bgn and of coz rutin memandikan budak2 ni plak. My SIL is living with us at the mo plak dah masak nasi goreng for breakfast, so we then all went down for breakfast after. That's pretty much our morning lah.

Now dah afternoon, Zayd is down for a nap in his cot. Kakak Aisyah is terkial2 nak amuse herself without making much noise, Hubs pun mcm Zayd, napping. Me? I need to get this work done. Oh there's azan Zuhur. Best go now.

Have a nice Sunday (or what's left of it!)

The Same Mixing Bowl

Kenal x baby dlm gmbr2 di bwh ni:

Macam Zayd, kan? Tapi BUKANNNNN.....

Ni actually nya kakak dia, Aisyah hehe... I still can't get over how much they look alike. Is it just me or do they really do look a lot a like? Same DNA mixing bowl lah katakan....

Yang di bwh ni baru Zayd (in same photos, with his cousin Husna).

This one even in the same patterned onesies as the pic above with Aisyah huhu..

Up close, Aisyah dan Zayd together :)

 

Correct Telinga

Aisyah peringkat suka mengulangi perkataan2 baru yg dia dengari. Biasalah usia2 ni, semua benda pun budak2 serap mcm sponge kan. Nak2 skang dia dah balik Msia, she's picking up on two languages serentak. Kdg2 mcm susah gak nak control, pasal ada newborn tu satu hal la dah kurg fokus kat Aisyah, tp di Msia, kosa kata kat TV tu mcm x brp terkawal (perkataan like 'bodoh' for example, aku dgr berkali2 - so far dia x de guna lg perkataan ni, Alhamdulillah, but aku x sedap telinga la dgr kat TV). Or citer lawak2 kat Astro yg cross dressing ni mmg aku x gemar, and this one mmg dia pernah 'why is the man dressed as a girl?' or 'is that a man, Mommy?'... konfius budak2 tau... I have never sat long enough to watch TV sejak balik Msia (ntah knp mati selera, most likely x sempat je kot), but the TV is on blaring in the background anyway kat umah my mom where I am berpantang ini ni. Kalo aku perasan and nobody watches the show, mmg aku tukar ke channel lain. But Alhamdulillah, biasanya mmg terpasang Channel Al-Hijrah, but kdg2 ada jg channel terbabas tu. even kartun pon x selamat sgt kat Msia ni. Shows like Oggy & Cockroaches and also Tom & Jerry tu unsur2 mean and ganas pada aku, tp for the lack of anything better, terpaksa la bg dia hadap jg. Kat UK, kalo on channel CBeebies je, aku rasa selamat dan konfiden sbb mmg x akan keluar benda pelik2, iklan pun x de channel tu, coz the British are really politically correct that way.

This week aku dgr Aisyah duk tersebut 'Die, Die...!' in her pretend play, e.g. nak suruh kalahkan bad people. X tau dia pick up dari mana. I think 'die' is a really strong word, and I've sat her down and told her that it's a very nasty word and shouldn't be used loosely. Nampaknya dia faham dan bersetuju utk x lg menggunakan perkataan tersebut, tp ada jg 2,3 kali dia tersasul and aku terpaksa remind lg.

Sat ni masa aku tgh duk wat writing up dlm bilik, budak2 ni (Aisyah and her cousins) duk main kat ruang tamu rumah mak aku ni. Tiba2 terdengar Aisyah ckp dgn nada kuat, 'XXX (nama cousin dia) dah mati! XXX dah mati!!!). Ya Allah, tersentak aku yg tgh buat kerja. Itu hari setakat sebut je, ni pegi panggil cousin dia plak mcm tu.

Teringat nasihat Supernanny Jo Foster, kalo budak2 wat silap kena betulkan pada masa tu supaya diorg faham apa salah diorg dah buat, aku pun terus berenti buat kerja, tarik nafas (kena cool down, kalo x nanti jadi naga), then bukak pintu bilik menuju ke ruang tamu.

'Aisyah, did you say the word 'mati' tadi?' tanya aku tegas.

Terkebil2 dia tgk aku. Takut agaknya.

'Dari dalam bilik Mummy dgr', kata aku lg.

Dia masih lg diam.

Suasana hening dan genting itu dipecahkan oleh bunyi game Angry Bird yg dimainkan oleh anak saudaraku (cousin Aisyah) yg duduk di sebelah Aisyah sejak tadi, terpinga2 x tau apa. Tiba2 kat skrin iPad anak saudaraku itu terpampang perkataan 'Game Over'.

Oh itu psl ke Aisyah ckp kat cousin dia mcm tu. Patut la dia ckp member tu mcm tu... Dah abis turn rupanya. Turn Aisyah plak utk melastik. 

Haih, nasib baik dah beristighfar dan tarik nafas sebelum marahkan anak td. Kalo x, kesian dia, dah la x buat salah, kena marah plak dpn sedara mara.

Dengan itu, aku pun explain yg mummy salah faham, and semua org mengehembus nafas lega dan start gelak2 (see betapa garangnya aku, everybody held their breath). I also apologised kat Aisyah sbb salah sangka. Dalam konteks ni, yes, perkataan tu bole digunakan, kata aku.

Nyaris malu besar makcik, hehe!

Ok nak sambung buat kerja. Terpaksa berenti utk postkan entry ni sbb aku rasa lucu sendiri :P

Gambar2 di bawah x de kena mengena dgn cerita, but they were sanpped today, and kat ruang ni lah insiden td berlaku hehe

 

Marching Straight Ahead

At 45 days of age...

Sudah pandai menyulur / mengengsot ke depan. No more naps on the bed for you then, to the cot you go!

PS: Don't worry, semasa gambar2 ni diambil, I was in the room, working on a piece of academic writing that needs doing

 

Toilet Jokes

Aisyah skang dah berjinak2 dgn bahasa Melayu, she (tries) to speak more of it than English nowadays, but bless her heart, sometimes minor mistakes that she makes are too cute. Some of which I remember are jotted below:

Kisah 1

Beramai2 tgh menjamu selera minum petang di rumah nenek Aisyah (Nek Mi).

Aisyah: Nek Mi, Aisyah nak ketut

Nek Mi: Hish, apa la kentut pon nak bg tau org. Nak kentut pegi la jauh2 dari sini

Aisyah: Nek Mi, Aisyah nak ketut! Nak ketut! Nak KETUT! (louder)

Nek Mi: Ye lah, ye lah, nak kentut, kentut aje lah!

Aisyah: Aisyah nak ketut labu

Ooo.. rupanya Aisyah nak kodok labu (cekodok labu) yang tgh kitaorg sajikan atas meja (feveret dia), tp salah sebut la plak. Next time kita panggil cucur or jemput2 je lah, senang cerita huhu...

Kisah 2

Aku tgh mengajar Aisyah mengeja in BM menggunakan magnetic board. Pada board tu bole guna stamps utk lukis2 dgn corak butterfly, star, heart, etc. Aisyah nampaknya lebih fokus pada benda alah cop2 ni berbanding pembelajaran, tsk tsk. Anyway tgh belek2 cop tu...

Aisyah: Mom, what's shape in Malaysian? (BM)

Aku: Err... (pause dkt 10 saat jgk la, lupa plak hehe)... 'Bentuk'

Aisyah: Oo.. bontok

Aku: No, not bontok. BENTUK. Bontot means your bum!

Aisyah: {giggle} 

She thinks the word bontot is well funny

Kisah 3

Tgh2 nak tido mlm dah ni...

Aisyah: Mom, ada kuncing

Aku: Hah, Aisyah nak kencing? Cepat pegi toilet

Aisyah: No. Ada kuncing. Kuncing Me-ow...

Aku: Ooo bukan kun-cing. KUCING

She was referring to the kucing merenyam belakang rumah yang galak panggil jantan nak mengawan sampai bingit gile payah org nak tido hehe. 

Tak pe lah, we all learn from mistakes. Tapi yg comelnya, semua jd toilet jokes plak hehe

 

Zayd's Birth Story - Part 2

Ok,pendekkan cerita. Hari Khamis (28/2/13) tiba. Hari ni adalah hari utk menyerah diri kpd hospital. Diorg nak suh kita berpuasa and prep kan diri utk operate esoknya. Pagi2 lg dtg. Mcm biasa, amik air kencing, blood pressure, blah blah. Then cucuk dkt pergelangan tgn in preparation for drip. Pastu salin uniform pakai baju pink hospital dah. Lps tu dia suh lepak kat tempat menunggu, tgk TV dsb nya sbb nak tggu katil kosong kat wad baru bole naik.

Masa kat bilik TV tu la berkenalan. Yg tgh sakit contraction nak bersalin dah xbersuara and x layan org. Yg ramah tamah nak berbual dgn org, adalah kes2 mcm aku la, scheduled c-sec esoknya hehe. Jumpa lah enam org yg dimaksudkan itu. Ada yg kena c-sec sbb dah 2 kali c-sec sebelumnya, ada yg kes high blood pressure, ada yg sbb baby 4 kg lebih, mcm2 cerita. Dah ala2 bukak kelab plak. Kelab Bersalin C-sec pada 1/3/13 hehehe… tukar2 cerita, berkongsi nervousness, to pass the time lah kan.

Dalam pkl 3 ptg, aku dibawa naik sbb dah ada katil kosong tp kat Wad Kelas 3. Duduk je la. Katil pon x de x kan la nak demand2 kan, ada katil kelas ke-3 ni pon dah besar rahmat. But aku ckp la jgk dkt nurse kat wad tu, kalo2 ada kekosongan, aku nak move in. Isu besar dia, privacy la. Kelas ke-3 terlalu ramai org kuar masuk time melawat. Susah nak jaga aurat. Then kelas ke-3 mmg share toilet ramai2, whereas kelas ke-2 dlm 4 org je maximum sebilik tu.  Also isu panas la, sbb kipas. Wad kelas ke-2 aircond, but tu small matter lah sbnarnya.

Dalam pkl 5.30 ptg my mom and Hubs dtg melawat. Bwk food skali sbb dari pagi x mkn. Start pkl 12 mlm nnt dah x leh mkn minum, so melantak lah sepuasnya skang, nnt lapar plak. Dlm tgh2 melawat tu, Dr bius panggil. Diskas2 psl risiko spinal etc..etc.. then suh sign consent form. Walau byk risikonya,tp x kan x nak sign plak kan dah warded tu kan. Elok je abis sign, nurse dtg, ckp katil kosong ada satu kat Wad Kelas ke-2 kalo aku nak. So berpindah la aku, Alhamdulillah…

Katil aku katil no 6. Malam tu cari balik geng2 yg due c-sec esoknya tu. Jumpa Ema. Kata dia, esok dia kena c-sec giliran yg ke-3, aku lak giliran yg ke-4. Nak plak dlm blk aku share, ada sorg yg br lps kena scheduled c-sec, so kitaorg duk interview dia la, apa bakal berlaku esok, sakit ke x etc, etc. mlm tu jgk sbb xde buat apa, aku layan medical student ni borak. Dia interested nak tahu psl condition aku, and also system kat UK. Sejam lebih gak la borak. Dlm pkl 12 mlm aku pon paksa diri utk tido. Tp agak x lena sbb sblm aku naik katil td aku baru dpt room mate baru kat katil sebelah. Kena emergency c-sec and spjg mlm asyik bgn muntah aje kesan bius. Bertambah2 la nervous nya.

Mlm tu sbnarnyabrp kali terjaga. Tido dlm nervous, mcm tu la. Bgn je aku tgk luar tingkap, berdoa x putus2 semoga semua slmt dan tolonglah jgn sakitnya melampau2 sampai aku x bole tanggung. Mcm2 terbayang, sakit kena toreh, bius x jln, bleeding ke, koma ke, koma x bgn2 ke (nauzubillah ya Allah). Hubs duk bagi smgt (kononnya), ‘eh bukan dah tau ke sakit operate tu camne? Kenapa nak takut lg?’. Wah, cuba suh dia sunat lg skali, mau x menggigil. Pujukan2 sebegini x jalan ye. Walaupon dah pernah kena operate before this, siapa yg cool aje bila tahu perut nak kena toreh and robek and godak2 skali lg?! Kalo ikut pengalaman aku lah, aku rasa, baik kena emergency c-sec, sbb x tahu apa2, and bcoz it was an emergency, so x sempat nak fikir byk or psl sakit, it was all a blur. Yg aku tau, cpt Dr cpt, keluarkan anak saya skang sbb tumpah darah non-stop. Kalo yg dah set date awal2 mcm kali ni, hmm.. seminggu tu la aku duk piker psl tu aje… Nak2 dah bole tau dah part mana yg sakit, part mana yg azab, lg laa…

Okeh. Dlm pkl 5.45 pg Jumaat (1/3/13) tu, nurse datang kejut. Actually aku dah bgn pon, bermenung atas katil tgk luar tingkap. Nurse suh mandi. Aku tau dah apa yg akan berlaku lps ni. Lps mandi salin pakai baju surgery siap2 (ala baju yang sarung tgn ke dlm, cover dpn je, blkg terbukak sbb kena org ikatkan). Dah x leh ke mana2 aku lps tu, bed-bound je kalo x org semua nmpk bontot plak. Aku tocang dua rambut aku siap2, konon nya nak bg kemas, nice and flat la dlm surgery cap masa baring atas meja dlm OT tu nanti. Then nurse masukkan drip. After that, nurse lain plak dtg, shave apa yg patut dkt bhg yg kena operate tu nanti. Lps tu dia masukkan catheter (tiub getah dlm salur kencing). Part yg x gemar ni dah bermula. Adoiyaii.. Masa operate yg 1^st dulu, dia masukkan catheter tu lps dah bius, so x rasa tiub tu masuk. Yg ni, sbb hosp gomen kan, kerja2 renyah ni dicampakkan kat nurse. Yg Dr tau, nanti pegi kat dia, dia nak siap shave, siap insert catheter, siap semua2, just kerat je. Dah kena masuk tiub tu, mmg lg la x terbgn aku kan. Mmg rasa dia x best langsung, mcm benda tersekat je. Mcm tampon tersalah angle pon ada, mcm kencing x lawas pon ada. Nak pusing mengiring atas katil pon dah x bole.

Apa sbb dia masukkan awal2 sgt pon aku  xtau, sbb aku punya turn operate hari tu yg ke-4, so anggaran pkl 11 am baru la turn aku. Maka duduk la aku dlm keadaan serba x selesa tu.  Dlm pkl 11 lebih, diorg belum dtg2 lg cek aku. Dah agak gelisah dah, sbb perut aku mcm sakit2 sket. Aku bajet Braxton-Hicks la kan. Skali masa sekumpulan Dr pakar and nurses ni round ward, satu nurse ni perasan muka aku kerut2. Dia Tanya, ‘Puan sakit sbb ada contraction ke?’ Aku jwb la x tau sbb x pernah bersalin normal. Dia dtg pegang2 perut, then dia ckp, ‘Eh, ini contraction ni. 15 seconds. Kenapa you x bgtau kita?’ La… mana le aku tau. Then nurse2 yg kat situ pon kecoh2  cek bila giliran aku sbb takut contraction lg kuat plak. Siap nak suh langkau turn, tp rupanya dah x perlu sbb nurses from OT dah dtg bwk trolley nak bwk aku turun. Terus call Hubs, and dia kata dia akan jumpa aku on the way out. Hosp gomen kan, mana leh tggu dlm ward. Spjg pg laki aku tu duk tggu lobi, tggu my call. Dia bole naik kejap, tp x leh masuk Dewan Bedah. Masa nak kena pakai surgery cap tu, nurse tu cek getah rambut aku, ada besi sket rupanya. Dia pon ckp x bole ni, so kena la tanggal. Dah rambut aku serabai x ingat sbb x sempat nak ikat or sanggul pon bcoz diaorg ghairah nak tolak aku cpt2. Dah la kena turun from katil naik katil sorong tu payahnya la.

Perjalanan ke Dewan Bedah tu adalah dirasakan sgt pjg. Dulu masa operate kat An-Nur kan hospitalnya kecik je, so x sempat rasa pening kea pa pon. Yg ni, disorong spjg2 koridor, then from tingkat 5 turun tingkat 4, naik lif apa semua, pastu jln lg kat koridor. Berpeluh2 aku dibuatnya, siap rasa nak muntah sbb motion sickness kena tolak dlm keadaan berbaring. Nampak siling je. Spjg perjalanan tu, laki aku teman, aku rasa beliau pon nervous jgk tu. Sampai dpn pintu Dewan Bedah, dia kena stop. Aku sorg je disorong masuk. So takat tu je la dia bole mengiringi aku. Lps tu iring dgn doa je la sob sob (kesyahduan di situ).

Dewan Bedah adalah satu tmpt yg sejuk tp x sesejuk England hehe, pang penampor skali.

Dalam tu ada jgk org queue tggu giliran bedah, org2 tua mostly. Masa aku masuk tu, dgr suara baby menangis2. Aku terpikir, ni mesti anak si Ema ni (geng aku yg smlm tu). Mmg pon, skali tolak keluar bilik OT5, tu dia Ema, ala2 koma dah aku tgk. X lama lps tu, aku punya turn pon tiba, tp kena tukar katil lg.

Masuk Bilik OT5 gak. So aku bajet mesti team yg sama nih. Siap dgr lg perbualan diorg, ‘lps ni ada  2 org lg nih. Pkl 3 baru siap ni’. Aku tgk jam dlm bilik tu, pkl 12 tghari. Hmm… dpt waktu tghari buta la anak aku tsk tsk… Skali lg aku kena alih from katil sorong tu, but kali ni naik atas operating table kot. Tgh2 kita duk berselawat tu la, ada nurse ni bertanya, ‘so Puan, dah decide belum nak dermakan cord blood ke x?’. Aiseh… sbnarnya drpd smlm lg dia suh diskas dgn suami, isu cord blood donation ni, utk tujuan mengubati or at least for research purposes utk blood-related sickness spt leukimia, thalassemia dsb nya, tp aku lupa la nak diskas. Tp dah disoal mcm tu, and as a researcher myself, aku menyedari kepentingan donation ni utk buat research, so aku sign je la. So yes, kalo pelan nak bersalin Hosp Serdang, bole decide from now nak derma ke x. X de kesakitan tambahan pon, dia amik darah yg dah sedia ada kat umbilical cord baby.

Ok then Dr bius pon start utk wat spinal. Alhamdulillah skali cucuk je masuk, and sakitnya x terasa sgt pon. Lps tu baring. Kedua2 lengan didepangkan. Lengan kanan diaorg letak cuff utk monitor blood pressure, jari index kiri dia letak benda alah nak monitor heart beat kot? Dkt hidung and mulut dia pakaikan mask (ntah ada masukkan gas apa aku x tau, tp mcm x berkesan je), and tirai pon dipasangkan, betul2 bwh dagu. Claustrophobic aku kjp sbb x nmpk apa, muka Dr pon x nmpk huhu. Agak2 nampak cam Dr dah nak start tu, aku gerak2 kan kaki, eh masih bole bergerak, so aku ckp la, ‘Dr, kaki saya bole bergerak lg ni!’ ‘Oh ye ke. Kita tggu kjp lg la ye’. Nasib baik… Rupa2nya bila dah balik umah bbrp hari after that and aku chat dgn Ema kat FB, dia ckp, Dr tu start potong masa kesan bius x masuk abis lg dlm badan dia. Terus dia terjerit2 dlm OT tu, cpt2 Dr bius masukkan ubat melalui drip, then baru ok. Ya Allah, horror kan? Syukur lah aku tergerak nak ckp kat Dr tu aku leh gerak2kan kaki lg, kalo x, dgn aku2 skali terpekik terlolong dlm OT tu. Ni sbb tengok citer ‘Awake’ la ni. Horror.. horror..

Saat yg ditakuti itu tiba jua. Lps hilang feeling kat kaki, bole rasa surgeon tu pegang2 perut and I think the first incision followed lps tu. Mula2 x sure sgt dia dah start tarah ke belum, but tiba2 terasa sensation seperti org tetas benang dkt kain dkt perut (tut.. tut.. tut.. kalo biasa menjahit tahu rasa ni). Ya Allah, horror gile. X sakit, tp konfem la masa tu surgeon tu dah start bukak balik jahitan/scar lama. Perasaan masa tu Allah aje tahu. Tp saat paling sakit (I know it’s not supposed to hurt bcoz I was under anaesthesia, but the PRESSURE tu kita bole rasa, and boy, it was effing UNCOMFORTABLE like nothing I’ve ever felt before!). Even my 1^st c-section wasn’t this rough. Anyway, bole rasa surgeon tu pulling, tugging, mcm ada battle going on in my belly, serious x tipu! Masa ni rasanya mcm terkeluar air mata sket, both my arms pon kejung sbb menahan sakit dan takut, and jujur aku ckp, ada jgk terfikir mcm dah nak mati ke aku ni (tp berdoa la supaya semua slmt, cuma mcm biasa la, org bersalin kan, bohong x terlintas benda tu semua). 

Then tiba2, surgeon tu menjerit, ‘Banjir! Banjir! Basah kasut saya!!!’ OK, saat ni I figured that the baby is already out, although x kedengaran pon tangisan bayi lg. Aku more concerned psl statement surgeon td psl ‘Banjir’ tu. Banjir apa ni? Air ketuban ke banjir darah? Kalo air ketuban logic la sebab mmg aku polyhydramnios, tp kalo banjir darah, sudahhhh… will I need blood transfusion? Where is it coming from? Can they stop it? Will I need hysterectomy? What if I lose too many blood???!! Macam2 dlm kepala.. Nobody told me anything. Last2 aku ternampak kelibat Dr bius kat sebelah kepala aku, so aku pon tanya, ‘banjir darah ke air ketuban?’. Alhamdulillah, banjir air ketuban aje. But mmg BANYAK gile la air, kalo surgeon t upon x expect kasut dia akan basah. Maybe x pernah berlaku pon time2 dia bedah org lain hehehe…

And then the next part plak, jahit luka. Hmm.. nak kata aku rasa exactly apa surgeon tu buat, x juga. Tp rasa mcm dia buat something, then dia dab (maybe gauze ke?), then campak ke atas perut. Then repeat lg,dab, then throw away ke atas perut. Lama lg jahit tu drpd proses nak keluarkan baby. Aku lebih rela aku out aje sbnarnya. Masa 1^st c-sec dulu, lps dah kuar baby, diorg bg aku ubat tido. Sedar2 je dah selesai semua, kan best. Kali ni kena endure amd wait proses lama ni habis. Stress jgk sbb terasa mcm perut tu direnggut2 (again, x sakit tp very uncomfortable. Mcm vaginal examination la, nak kata sakit, x sgt, but sgt la x pleasant and x sapa mau buat VE berkali2. Lebih kurg cam tu la perasaan masa kena ni).

Lps dah selesai semua, in the background I heard the sound of a baby crying, so I kinda felt relieved, but cuak jg nape x tunjuk or ckp apa2 psl anak aku ni. Masa 1^st c-sec dulu, kuar je perut, Dr Fatimah tu bg salam kat baby, and dgn lendir2 and darah, terus tunjuk kat aku, so aku pon tercari2 la baby aku kali ni. After what felt like an eternity, nurse datang sebelah aku and ckp, ‘Puan, ni anak Puan. Bole bgtau Puan dpt baby apa?’ Aku pon tgk private part Zayd and jawab, ‘Baby boy’. Alhamdulillah. ‘Ok, cium baby, Puan,’ kata nurse tu lg. Aku cium lebih kurg sbb bdn keras kejung x leh nak gerak ni, then just like that Zayd was whisked away again. Mmg procedure dkt hosp gomen ni x encourage skin-to-skin contact langsung huhu. Tp x leh nak piker pjg, sbb aku pon x larat and agak trauma. Lps tu diorg moved aku ke atas katil yg beroda tu, then rolled me pegi Recovery Bay kot. Kat situ diaorg monitor BP, heart beat, tgk aku tumpah darah ke x, muntah ke x, and generally nak tgk aku ok ke x lps pembedahan. Masa ni lama gile aku rasa, sbb aku kuar OT tu pkl 1 lebih rasanya, pkl 2.30 ptg tu masih tersadai kat situ lg. Aku in and out masa ni, ada time terdoze off sbb kesan ubat (and bosan), tp terjaga balik sbb sejuk gile (my shoulders were exposed. Blanket tutup chest ke bawah sahaja). Ada nurse bgtau, baby aku kat Labour Room tingkat bwh sana, receiving oxygen sbb heartbeat dia laju. That was all I was told. Of course cuak, and sket ralat sbb sampai berapa jam dah ni bersalin x dpt pegang and breastfeed baby. Husband apatah lg, still x leh masuk. Kesian baby lambat dpt azankan. Ni lah dia hosp gomen. Kalo gi private cam ari tu, cpt je Aisyah diazankan. Panas2 lg, the entire family dah bole gi tgk kat nursery sob sob.

Around 3 pm I was pushed back to the ward. Masa keluar Dewan Bedah tu Hubs greeted me. Dia tggu rupanya, sian dia. Altho dia x dpt azankan baby lg, dia dpt tgk Zayd secara dkt sbb masa nurse sorong Zayd bwk gi Labour Room tu, lalu dpn Hubs yg tercangak2 kat situ. He asked kalo bole azan and also amik gambar on the spot, but was denied both. Oh well. Yg penting he said Zayd looked so comel hehe..

So I was confined to the bed lah x leh buat apa. Nak bgn x leh, x mkn lg la x leh. But was told 6 hours after operation, aku mesti paksa diri duduk, jgn baring2 dah. Oh my! 6 jam je… X lama lps tu, adik ipar aku dtg and kami berborak2 sket. Pastu aku start itchy2 satu badan, start dgn hidung. Rupanya tu side effect bius. Around half an hour lps tu, nurse pon bwk masuk baby cot berisi Zayd. Alhamdulillah he is so perfect. Nurse said he was fine after the oxygen.

X lama lps tu, dah waktu melawat, so Hubs masuk, followed by my mom. Aisyah sayangnya x leh masuk (sbb kanak2 under 12), so dia kena tggu lobi. Marah betul dia x leh tgk adik baru dia. Then another SIL came, and also my Dad menjengah kjp.   Anyway, dalam masa ramai2 ada tu la Hubs salinkan baju aku, pad dsb nya. Sbb nya, kena buat masa melawat tu je, kang mlm x de sapa leh jaga, lain la kat private hosp kan. And around 7 pm, aku cuba utk bgn sementara org masih bole melawat tu. Sbb nya, kalo dah abis waktu melawat nnt, sapa nak tolong pangku and papah lg? I still remember clearly bersalinkan c-sec yg 1^st. Nak bgn pertama kali drpd katil tu la antara cabaran paling berat, and paling sakit rasa cukuplah x nak c-sec lg. So, nak x nak, mesti gagahkan diri jg.

Ntah apa beza kali ni dgn yg sblmnya, mmg aku bgn sket je terus nak muntah. Tp Hubs pujuk suh bgn jgk, kalo x lg teruk mlm ni. Aku dah bole mkn, tp camne nak mkn kalo duduk pon x bole. So again and again aku cuba, and last2 mmg muntah jgk la beberapa kali in order to sit up. Tp lps muntah tu lega. Mlm tu x lalu nak mkn nasi. Just makan roti and minum air suam. Lps dah bole duduk I tried breastfeeding Zayd a few times. Zayd latched like a superhero, tp air susu aku yg zero. Biasalah, c-sec mana nak ada apa lg. Colustrum pon x de.

Throughout the night bbrp kali aku cuba nurse kan Zayd, and he became frustrated sbb x de apa yg keluar. Tiap2 kali nak pick up Zayd from his cot, kena panggil nurse. Tiap2 kali nak letak Zayd semula dlm cot, kena panggil nurse. Luckily, nurse semua baik2. Aku respek la diorg sbb mlm2 buta entertain jg buzzer2 drpd pesakit. Cuma by the end of it aku mmg stressed out sbb when I told them susu x de, I kept being told, bagi je, nnt hisapan baby akan bg ransangan utk susu tu keluar. THAT, I know. Perkara paling asas utk BFing, which was my mantra la really spjg 2 thn BFing kan Aisyah dulu. But I tell you, bila dah dlm situasi tu, mmg rasa nak bg formula aje. But nasib baik hosp kerajaan. So jawapan dia sama je, ‘bagi je, nnt hisapan baby akan bg ransangan utk susu tu keluar.’ Arghhh!!

Zayd punya x puas nyusu, dia bergayut dkt breasts sampai tertido2 aku dlm duduk. Dr dtg round ward around 12 tgh mlm tu plak yg risau takut baby aku jatuh, and aku ckp, baby bergayut dah dkt 3 jam mcm ni. Mata aku x leh nak bukak lg, drowsy from bius. So the nurse kindly took away my baby utk dijaga for a few hours so that I can get some shut eye. This was unexpected, but was a very nice gesture. Dpt la aku tido kjp.

Pagi besok, (Sabtu 2/3/13) subuh2 lg nurse dtg utk bukak catheter. Lps tu, dia suruh terus turun katil for the first time sbb lps ni no more kencing dlm bag, kena gi toilet lah kan. So aku pon cuba la bgn. Not as bad as smlm, I managed it quite well, even better than 1^st time c-sec dulu, and mind you, x de sapa tolong ye. I guess better bgn cpt2 sementara ubat bius masih berbaki. Kalo kesan bius dah abis, siap la…

Terus masuk bilik air dan mandi wiladah. Again, mcm 1^st time dulu, perut adalah kelihatan sgt keji. Wobbly mcm jelly (sgt la Jelly Belly) and mcm org pregnant 4 bulan, tp the sight kali ni x la terkejut sgt sbb dah pernah lihat dulu kan. Masa bersalinkan Aisyah ye la, nangis tgk perut sendiri post-delivery. The only thing was, still takut2 nak basahkan area incision tu, so cpt2 lalukan air aje la.

Lps mandi bole terus pakai baju sendiri, and also jalan2 gi letak baju kotor kat bilik laundry plak tu. I heard that lg cpt kita move around, lg cpt the healing process, so tu yg teruja tu. Then came breakfast time, aku pon mkn la roti 2 keping yg dihidangkan pg tu (dlm hati x puas hati, kenapa tidak nasi lemak? hehe).

Oh, and everyday spjg aku kat sini after delivery, kena injek skali pagi, skali mlm dkt lengan ubat utk cairkan darah (heparin eh?). Sakit tu tidak la, tp dia punya bruise, Masya Allah, sampai 3 minggu baru hilang lebam purple tu, on various parts of my lengan, both left and right. Also, sbb derma cord blood kan, they came to take my blood everyday jgk dkt pelipat lengan, nak test cross-compatibility antara darah ibu and umbilical cord ke apa ntah. Ooo.. masa nak derma dulu x ckp plak kena amik darah twice. Kalo tau, sure pikir beberapa kali jgk hari tu masa nak agree hehe.. aku ingat bole balik hari ni (Sabtu, a day after c-sec), tp kena gelak dgn Dr plak hehe… wishful thinking…

Tghari tu my mom with my Dad and Aisyah came. It was a Saturday, so Aisyah bole naik melawat. She was soooo excited! Then my neighbour pon melawat jg, bwk hadiah, so sweet!. In the late afternoon, my parents-in-law plak dtg from Muar (Hubs pegi amik). They gave mcm2 tips nak byk kan susu badan, among them sisirkan breasts dgn sikat, letak daun sireh dan mcm2 lg. Mmg masa ni susu x keluar lg, poor Zayd! Lewat ptg sket just before waktu melawat habis, my youngest brother and his wife yg still dlm pantang came. We’d discussed the possibility of asking my also-berstfeeding SIL to just feed Zayd (jd anak susuan) bcoz susu x keluar2 lg, but Alhamdulillah, not long after tu the first sight of colostrum menonjolkan diri, and how relieved I was! Note ye, waktu melawat utk wad maternity hospital Serdang is Mon-Friday (6.30-7.30 pg, 12.30-2.30 ptg, 4.30-7.30 ptg), Sat-Sunday (12.30 – 7.30 ptg).

Malam tu uneventful, except that Zayd x mau tido. I think colostrum tu x brp nak cukup, and puas dah study poster2 menyusu, and came to the conclusion that kena sabar je la, the susu will come. Mula2 gi melawat geng (Ema) and tukar2 cerita, but tgk dia ala2 ngantuk, we left.  So bila x leh tido, gi bilik TV dsb nya. Sorong la cot si Zayd ni ke sana ke mari pkl 1.30 pg tu. Nurse pon heran tp apa bole buat. Zayd ni dia punya mengamuk, skali jarum yg dkt wrist tempat masuk drip tu bengkok dikerjakan. Oh Tuhan, sakitnya (bengkok dlm isi lengan ye, nmpk jarum tu dah bengkok from kulit luar). Lps Zayd dah calmed down, gi station nurse kat don and mintak tolong la cabutkan, kalo nak cucuk jarum lg satu pon saya rela, kata aku. But sbb mungkin dah bole discaj soon, nurse just cabut and bubuh gauze je la kat wrist aku tu.

The next morning, Ahad (3/3/13), Dr dtg cek seawall jam 6 pg. Dia tgk luka, and bgtau, hari ni bole balik, yay! Tp kena tggu nurse tukar dressing dulu. So dgn pantasnya tukar mandi, tukar baju, mekap bagai, then siapkan Zayd, x sabar nak tukar pengumuman discaj. Pagi tu 1^st experience kena kencing dgn Zayd. New experience sbb sblm ni anak perempuan kan, haha. Okay, at least konfem susu dah ada la tu, sbb bole bertukar menjadi kencing yg memancut hehe. The second Dr came around 10 am tgk dressing, and dia spray some water-proof stuff tu protect the area, omak kaoo… pedih giler… tp nak balik punya pasal, x de hal jdnya… Then diskas2 psl contraception plan and what not, dia konfemkan bole balik, Alhamdulillah…

Tp around 3 pm jgk kot baru setel semua. Tggu itu, ini, surat discaj, fail baby, buku rekod kesihatan baby dan ibu, surat akuan bersalin, etc etc… apapon syukur sgt sbb semua slmt. So dgn itu, bermula la hidup baru kami berempat, Alhamdulillah.... 

 

Zayd's Birth Story - Part 1

Masa entry ni ditulis, genap Zayd berusia sebulan. Alhamdulillah, after a very testing few weeks, skang rasa mcm life dah bole adjust, and we are all recovering and coping well. Ni nak cuba cram kan cerita birth story Zaydni. Kalo x tulis karang lupa, huih… sayang kalo lupa. Cerita Aisyah kakak dia written in full here, so harus la ada juga untuk adik Zayd kan. Ceritanya pjg, but will be cut into several parts. Ok, memandangkan selama ni pregnancy adalah quiet2 sbb nak surprise, tau2 dah announce bersalin, so kita start cerita birth ni from dah balik Msia lah until ke bersalin lah ye. Cerita awal pregnancy tu, entry lain (writing in reverse order dah ni hehehe).

Ok, I flew back from UK at 34 weeks pregnant. Kalo 35 weeks, dah x bole fly dah, so mmg debar sgt2. Spjg kat UK, I was tested for diabetes, high blood pressure, (yg normal2), semua came back negative dan x de masalah, which was what I had hoped for sbb nak fly ni, kalo Dr x bg surat sokongan kata everything A-OK with the pregnancy, x lepas naik flight that late in the third triemester. The only thing yg ala2 memelikkan my midwife was, masa 31 week gitu, my fundus height (bahagian teratas rahim) was measuring slightly higher than my gestational age by 2 weeks. Makna nya, rahim tu bersaiz besar 2 minggu drpd sepatutnya, but she wasn’t too concerned sehingga nak suruh aku gi scan, so she dismissed it. Di UK, scan hanya dibuat pada minggu ke-12 dan ke-20 shj. Kalo x de apa2, nnt dkt2 nak bersalin baru scan skali lg sbb nak scan kena gi hospital. Kalo checkup antenatal biasa2 dkt klinik aje dgn midwife. So dgn itu, Alhamdulillah lah, selamat aku fly 12 jam atas kapal terbang.

Lps balik Msia seminggu, aku pon gi cek dkt klinik biasa yg bole buat ultrasound and monthly antenatal visit dkt umah aku ni. Cek punya cek, semua ok, hinggalah time aku selak baju nak scan. Dr terkejut sbb perut nampak cam besar and full term dah. Bila dia measured amniotic fluid aku, hah, sah lah aku ni polyhydramnios (air ketuban banyak). Aku mulanya x heran sgt sbb masa pregnantkan Aisyah pun dah kena diagnose dgn polyhydramnios dah,tp x de apa2 masalah pon, but bila Dr tu buat full check, quadrant by quadrant, she came to an AFI (Amniotic Fluid Index) of 36.0. Ini cukup mengejutkan sbb org normal2 biasanya AFI 18 pun dah cukup tinggi, that late in the pregnancy air ketuban akan makin kurang sbb baby takes up much space dah kan, tp baby aku ni bole buat renang berirama lg dlm perut sbb dia floating2 gitu. Mula la aku panic, apatah lg Dr tu ckp aku la patient yg paling tinggi AFI dia pernah terima spjg dia kerja as doktor, mana x cuak! Terus dia tanya plan aku nak bersalin kat mana, then dia tulis referral letter sbb dia kata aku perlu pergi consult specialist dah, x leh continue antenatal checkup dkt klinik biasa2 dah after this huhu… Siap bgtau awal2 lg, apa risiko polyhydramnios ni, antaranya kalo air ketuban dia keluar secara gushing, umbilical cord bole terkeluar awal sblm baby engage, then baby bole lemas. Dah la masa scan tu Dr tu ckp tali pusat terbelit satu round dkt leher. Mmg x bole nak maintain cool dah masa tu!

Within the next few days gi la Hosp Serdang plak, cek dkt Klinik O&G dia. After lama berzaman menungku, they told me what I already knew, mmg kes aku Severe Polyhydramnios, tp bole lg nak bersalin normal, cuma kena be quick kalo pecah ketuban je terus dtg hosp. Aku mcm x puas hati sgt penjelasan diorg, sbb bunyi mcm berisiko tggi baby bole lemas bagai, dan rahim dah menipis anytime bole pecah ketuban nya, tp suh tggu air ketuban pecah sendiri baru dtg. Xde preventive method ke apa ke? Dah la Dr yg first scanned aku tu mulanya nak suh admit ward terus for monitoring sbb terkejut tgk AFI  yg off the chart, tp bila dtg Consultant dia ckp x yah plak hmmm… Mana satu yg betul ni? Bahaya ke x bahaya kes aku ni? Tp dah dia bg next appointment pd 7/3/13( x logic sbb due date aku 11/3/13, and diorg ckp x kan sampai EDD lah perut dah besar mcm tu), maka baliklah aku ke rumah dgn perasaan yg lebih bingung drpd sblm gi hosp tu.

Sbb xpuas hati, gi la cek private plak, dkt Hosp An-Nur. Dulu bersalinkan Aisyah kat sana, so dah ada record bersalin kt situ. Dr Fatimah ckp, mmg air ketuban byk, and baby pon besar (at 35 weeks+, dah 3.1 kg, and hujung2 mmg keja baby ni menambah berat aje la, so baby can reach 3.5 kg+ ni). Dia ckp lg, kalo di bawah jagaan dia, most likely c-sec, sbb masa anak 1^st pon Aisyah berat dia masa lahir dah 3.8 kg, so adik pon most likely mcm tu, ditambah dgn mmg isu polyhydramnios tu lg. Tp Dr x set tarikh ke apa la, just that dia akan monitor weekly sampai la full term (37-38 weeks most likely).

So again, x de instant penyelesaian, so balik la rumah duk diam2 for the next few weeks. Risau mmg risau, tp tetap la pergi kerja. Contractions pon on off dah rasa, selalunya around 1 – 4 pg la, dtg selang 7-10 minit for a few hours tahap x leh baring, kena duduk, so mmg kerap la x brp cukup tido.Nak2 perut mmg berat n besar, posisi apa pon dah x selesa. Biasanya kalo sakit tu aku panic sorg2 jer,x kejut Hubs sbb rasanya false alarm je. Still manageable, tp takut la, kot2 sakit tu followed by spontaneous rupture of membrane kan. Mmg berdoa sgt, kalo nak pecah ketuban, semoga berlaku bkn di pg hari kerja, sbb dasyat jam nya nak menghala ke hospital tu, ada 40 minit baru leh sampai huhu…

Satu pg Sabtu around 37 weeks, aku bgn lps azan Subuh nak solat, tgk2 ada dah kuar mcm lendir plus darah. Aku suspect mucus plug la. Nak kata for certain, x sure sbb Aisyah dulu pon c-sec sbb failed induction, so x pernah la kuar tanda bersalin. Anyway, sbb x sure and sbb x sakit tu, lengah2 la jg. Around pkl 10 pg baru decided nak gi hospital. Itu pun berenti mkn kt kedai dulu hehe. Dah kenyang, baru gerak gi Dewan Bersalin Hosp Serdang.

Ok depa amik kes aku. So masuk, spt biasa, first thing diorg buat was amik air kencing. Then suh tukar pakai kain batik (sila bwk sehelai kain batik ye from rumah kalo dah nak gi Dewan Bersalin tu). Then amik blood pressure. Then they hooked me up to the CTG machine tu kan. Woop woop woop … dgr jantung baby sampai la 30 minit. Pastu Dr dtg tanya history, blah blah blah. Bunyi mcm kejap je proses dia kan, tp utk setiap task tu, ada menunggu 30-45 minit kot. Aku sempat solat Zuhur, Asar dan Maghrib nak tggu abis tau. But staff nurses diorg mmg kelass, byk dan peramah,siap suh solat dkt ruang solat staff lg, pinjam telekung apa semua. Cuma nak buat mcm mana, mmg overloaded dgn patients, yg nak beranak hosp ni, so sabar je lah.

Then kena tggu Medical Officer dia dtg utk scan.MO dia adalah sgt garang and ada attitude okeh. Dtg2 je marah2 semua nurse kat situ, then scan aku (which dia komfemkan mmg ada polyhydramnios), pastu tanya  with an exaspersated note, ‘Awak ingat awak bole bersalin normal ke?! Air ketuban mcm ni byk. Diorg x cakap ke kat awak sblm2 ni?’ followed by ‘Masa lps operate yg first dulu diorg x cakap ke keadaan rahim awak mcm mana? Ok ke? Bole bersalin normal lg ke? Awak x tanya ke?!?’ Aku rasa x de org kot yg tanya Dr x pasal2, ‘Eh Dr, rahim saya ok ke?’ Nak2 first baby, org dah hulur baby and bill suh checkout tu, cpt2 la checkout kan, x soal byk lg.Tp aku x amik hati la, jwb je la, ‘tak’. Mmg x de org ckp apa pun, dan mmg x tahu apa2 pun kan hehe.

Lps tu MO tu buat vaginal examination. Still 0 cm, tp cervix dah soft kata dia. Ok, now masa utk dia consult aku. Kalo awal2 td nmpk mcm dia ada attitude yg satu mcm, skang dia appear very professional. Dia ckp baik2, bgtau risiko2 utk kes aku ni. Dia bg choice samada nak bersalin normal atau c-sec. Kalo normal, risikonya, kalo x get to hosp in time bila air ketuban pecah, bole jd  tali pusat yg keluar dulu and baby lemas. Dia bole induce and rupture the membrane artificially,but since baby is now estimated to be 3.5 kg, chances are, I might end up with a c-sec anyways. Risiko c-sec plak is more to the mother lah, dia ckp. Since xde record previous c-sec ended up mcm mana, they don’t know status rahim tu camne. Takut2 ada komplikasi like bleeding, then maybe kena buat blood transfusion, or worse, hysterectomy (nauzubillah!). And of course, bila dah c-sec twice, the following deliveries semua c-sec jg, so bye bye VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caeserean). And max no of births pon maybe 3 or 4, lps tu they will suggest for BTL (Bilateral Tubal Ligation, or ikat la, kata mudahnya). Aku tanya la Dr tu, mengikut expert opinion, mana lg baik? Dia kata, dia x leh bg jawapan, tp kalo dia, personally dia amik c-sec, sbb elective c-sec (EL LSCS) adalah lebih baik drpd emergency c-sec (EM LSCS). Dr suggested aku diskas dgn Hubs, then let her know. Kalo nak c-sec, she will schedule one for me ASAP and release some consent forms for me to sign. Then off she went.

Pening jgk nak decide. Last2 Hubs kata focus kat pregnancy yg ni je dulu, and c-sec seemed most obvious. So once dah decide tu, kitaorg kena tggu lg sejam lebih kot baru Dr tu re-appear sbb dia pegi deliver baby org lain dulu, guna vacuum lg so tu psl lama. Kan? Mmg short staffed (and shortage of facilities jgk la hosp ni, kesian aku tgk, poning staff dia yg ada). Anyways, Hosp Serdang buat planned c-sec every Weds and Friday, and since Rabu tu dah penuh, diorg ckp amik Jumaat la. Hopefully perut aku bertahan. Kalo x sempat, Dr ckp, just dtg la, they’ll do an emergency c-sec on me. Boring sbb kena tggu extra 2 days, tp at least bersalin hari Jumaat, plus tarikh yg dia bg tu jatuh pada 1/3/13, konon2 tarikh lawa so nevermind la mehhh…

Nervous gile nak sign consent form sbb risiko yg mcm2 dia list kan, and once kita sign tandanya dah faham segalanya and x leh nak blame hosp lg kalo apa2 yg disenaraikan tu terjadi. The only plus thing is that, scheduled c-sec konfem ada katil punya. Satu hari dia set aside 6 beds utk c-sec. heh, jgn x tau, kalo bersalin normal ada kes x de katil duduk kat wheelchair okeh? Or duk atas trolley tepi koridor sampai la Wab Bersalin kat atas ada katil kosong. Mula2 masuk Dewan Bersalin lg dah they make you signed this form saying that you acknowledge katil x cukup and you are willing to be placed kat mana2 temporary area.

Ok nanti sambung lg part 2, bila dah admitted... :)

Spitting Image

I get quite a lot of 'Eh, mcm kakak dia la' comments from friends and families regarding Zayd's appearance, and I can't say I disagree. Mmg seketul betul! I've posted these pics dkt FB, but thought I'd share them here as well. What do you guys think? Zayd and Aisyah mmg acuan yg sama kan? hihihi...

On all the pics, with the exception of Pic #4 (yg Aisyah pakai tudung kaler pink tu), Aisyah is on the left and Zayd is on the right. Did you guess it correctly?