Home. Sick

Sebelum demam di depan klinik. Balik klinik baru demam. How ironic is that?

I am staying at home because I am sick. Demam. Huhu... the home which currently isn't my own home yet, coz kami still menumpang. Asalnya tghari Selasa tu jln kaki gi Mutley (tempat bakal umah baru kami terletak) utk daftar klinik (GP). Mutley ni jauh kalo nak jln kaki dari St. Judes (tempat host kami duduk), tp kunun excited x tentu psl nak exercise plus bole jimat duit punyer pasal, kitaorg pon menapak la. Pergi balik ada kot 8 km, which wouldn't have been so bad if the roads weren't hilly. Or if the weather wasn't so crappy (hujan renyai2, with winds).

Masa nak pegi tu Hubs dah suruh pakai topi yg ala2 snow cap tu, but I politely decline, coz, x macho la guek mcm nih. Pas tu Hubs suggested guna payung, which I shrugged off, psl kat UK ni serupa la x payah pakai payung, sbb bila hujan angin mestu kuat. Kalo nak rasa mcm mana rasanya Clarke Kent masa first2 dapat power utk terbang, bole la cuba bukak payung golf tu kat sini, hik hik. Plus I was like, 'Oh dulu masa kat UK x payah pakai pon topi ke, gloves ke, payung ke'. Yes, I was that angkuh. Hehe. I was forgetting one little fact, I have since grown older. A lot older, and as they say, bile dah beranak ni bodily function x kan sama lg mcm zaman anak dara dulu. Guess I have to surrender to that.

Anyway, kitaorg gi dafatr kat Lisson Grove Medical Centre. Bosan la sistem dia. Mmg kalo demam akan konfem akan kebah dulu sbb kena wat appointment in advance baru bole dtg. Kalo sakit sket2, beli aje la over the counter nyer meds. Kalo teruk sgt, gi je hospital. Dah la tutup klinik pukul 5 ptg. Sungguh rilek la doctor kat UK nih. Btw, at this point I was still as healthy as a horse.

Slps pendaftaran selesai, sekali lg kami balik jln kaki meredah hujan dan angin. Aisyah Alhamdulillah x affected, coz kami guna the plastic rainshield on her and so she was snug, warm n dry for the entire trip. Mmg angin atau air hujan pon x masuk, so best la dia.

Bgn pg esoknya, aku patut gi Uni ada kursus LaTeX, terpaksa emel n cancel, sbb x larat. Mula2 ok lg, lps tu jd sejuk yg amat2, walau pon dah masuk dlm duvet. Aku dah lupa apa rasa demam sebenarnya sbb dari masa pregnant sampai ke la ni belum pernah demam lg (Alhamdulillah for that). Test temperature dah 37.4C. Oh, dah feverish sket la. Mkn la Ibuprofen 2 biji sbb tahu sgt x de maknaya nak gi klinik skang.

Aku x tau la kenapa, tp lambat betul ubat2 kat UK ni berfungsi. Kalo kat Msia, mkn panadol 2 biji, setengah jam dah kebah. Kat sini, sejam lebih baru la nak terasa panas2 sket bdn tu. Mungkin sbb sejuk sgt kot. Ntah la..

Pulak hilang selera mkn, pening kepala, x sedap perut la, mcm2 lg. Aisyah plak asyik ajak main. Suka la dia, Ibu dia x gi school. Kesian budak tu x paham apa2. Masa ni mmg terasa nak balik Msia. At least kalo sakit, mesti balik umah my Mom hehe. Nanti sana mesti ramai aje yg sanggup jaga Aisyah kalo aku sakit, x de la dia keboringan.

Lagi masa demam tu la terbayangkan sup dgn bubur nasi. Allahu Akbar... Bole je buat, tp masa sakit x rasa larat nak bgn, plus masih duk umah org kan. Hati kecil ku berkata, kalo kat Msia, konfem dah bole order dah sup ni, sekejap je depa pi beli kat kedai makan dpn sana. Huhu..

Pas tu bila demam kat sini, sejuk sampai ke tulang. Apasal aku x teringat pon kesejukan masa duk Luton dulu? At least kat Msia kalo demam, rasa panas ke, leh duduk dlm aircon keh keh. Mcm2 la terpikir dlm kepala. Serius kalo x mengenangkan ticket flight tu mahal, and the long hours dlm plane, rasa nak bungkus kain balik jap :P

Plak tu dah sedia maklum kalo nak ke klinik pon x guna, sbb by appointment only. Kat Msia kan best, anytime je walk-in. Nak2 private clinic, lg best. Masa tu mahal pon x brp kesah, kan? Asal ada org treat kita. Sometimes demam ni psychology aje, dpt kuar umah naik keta lom sampai klinik dah baik. Usually gitu la aku. Tp kalo skang nak suruh keluar gi klinik (kalo ada la yg open pon), sorry la beb, x sanggup nak meredah sejuk ni. I'll pass.

And the weather makes the recovery real slow la aku rasa. Now aku paham apasal Che Fadh kita kata dia agak depressed and moody di kala winter. Sgt bosan! Herannya, apsal aku x ingat kebosanan itu? Atau adakah dulu2 x bosan? Sbb aku remaja lg ke masa tu? Sbb ada mak ayah n adik beradik bersama ke? Skang pon aku still di kelilingi keluarga terchenta, cuma kecik aje la saiz dia in comparison. Ke sbb aku dah jd ibu makanya tanggungjawab itu adalah lebih menekankan perasaan? X macam dulu kala masa aku tgh as carefree as a bird? And the fact that dulu aku wat GCSE n A-Levels je, skang PhD maaaa.... Or adakah otak aku menggunakan selective memory sahaja? Yakni mengingati apa yg best sahaja, dan lupa x ingat dah psl sejuk ke, psl the loneliness ke, psl life struggle ke (even as a teenager pon mesti ada struggles gak kat school kan? And as a Muslim student).

Tambah rasa self-pity apabila gi blog member2 di Southern Hemisphere, jd jeles coz diorg tgh summer... Untung nya org gi Australia & New Zealand, dtg2 tgh cuaca happening, panas tp breezy. Will summer ever comes in the UK? Rasa nak kait ngan galah matahari tu suh duk tegak atas UK ni hik hik...

Hubs plak siap tanya naper x pilih tempat lain utk buat PhD, like UPM? hehe... (still promote GSO tuh, x tahan, giler loyal mamat ni dgn tempat keja dia dulu). The only thing I can think of as an answer is that we were destined to be here, by a greater power, Who definitely knows that it is best for us, susah ke, senang ke, coz masa nak dtg tu, quota seriously dah abes licin, and I've also placed in offers from 2 different Universities in New Zealand pon, but lastly the big guns picked sini gak. Also, if I can only selectively remember the 'good' things from UK, and forget all the bad ones, then UK mustn't be that bad of a place, no? I'm prepared to give it some time and wait a little more. Patience is virtue :)

Oh, and yes, I am a little homesick now. Must be bcoz I was feeling unwell. You know how you feel unwell and suddenly remember your Mom and your family? Well, they came in my dream. Ah, pandai rindu jugak aku nih... Sob Sob.... Btw, Umai kata, the feeling of homesickness will get worst, coz awal2 x feel sgt, sbb sibuk n penat. Give it 3 weeks to a month, mula la x senang duduk. And she added, aku still tumpang umah dia, therefore not so bad coz ada teman berbicara dlm Bahasa Melayu and all that, but once aku dah move umah sendiri, mmg kesunyian itu akan menyelinap masuk. Tapi tabah lah, katanya, kerana kalo dpt stay for a year, bole la mengharungi the final two, Insya Allah . Doa kan utk kami di sini yeh :)

Gambar2 ada sket updated kat Picasa kalo nak tgk.