Aku sedikit down hari ni. Let me tell you why.
Last week, aku amik cuti ari Xmas hingga ke Sunday cdgnya. Anyway, late Thursday evening, aku dpt satu envelope dari Plymouth U. Oh my God, the long awaited offer letter is here!!! Syukurlah, aku ditawarkan unconditional offer utk start PhD in Computer Music starting April 2008.
Esoknya, aku cancel cuti, terus gi Pejabat Dekan and discuss my next course of action. The dean seemed very pleased, and dia cpt2 suh aku hntr application ke Pendaftar. Nevermind that awal2 dulu dia x brape setuju with this uni, coz katanya, quota utk ke UK ni tinggal 2 tempat je lg for the entire instituition where I work, so i got to be quick. He told me there's a CB meeting next Monday so just try and squeeze in the application before Monday morning.
Imagine aku punya perasaan time tu. Sgt2 berdebar, coz dah la quota nak abis, aku lak kena isi punya gile byk borg, sungguh pening! Dlm berdebar2 tu aku terpaksa mengingatkan diri utk cool, chill and relax, takut2 effect kat baby. We all know that stress is not good for the baby. Even worst, proses mengisi borg ni byk memerlukan dokumen difotostat, dan malangnya kat opis aku ni, semua mesin fotokopi berada di tingkat bawah. Maka terpaksalah aku berjln dgn berhati2 nya turun bwh naik atas, turun bawah naik atas, utk fotostat 1001 dokumen.
The entire weekend aku x dpt tido nyenyak. Asyik la terpikirkan nasib borg aku ni. Ada x quota? Dah abis ke?
On Monday tu aku rushed la hantar kan borg ke Dekan utk dia bawakan ke Mesy CB. Alas, nasib x menyebelahi aku, ptg nya tu Dekan panggil aku ke bilik dia, bgtau the bad news. QUOTA KE UK DAH HABIS!!! Ha? As in habis licin. And aku missed it by one person only.
Ya Allah, sedihnya hati aku masa tu. Aku rasa cheated pon ada gak, sbb aku dah try sedaya upaya utk buat permohonan cpt2. As soon as aku abis MSc aku dah start cari2 tempat semua, but mungkin x de rezeki aku agaknya. Anyway, nama aku diletakkan on the top of the waiting list la... Huhu...
Namun aku tetap bersyukur sbb walau apa pon outcome dia, I still have something even more bigger event to look forward to. Something yg x ternilai pon kalo nak dibandingkan dgn setakat peluang belajar kat UK, the one where I can almost say, been there, done that (minus the PhD part la). And demi baby yg tgh growing in my belly, I will not stay upset for long. X elok. What I WILL do, though, is fight my way through all this and plead my case until betul2 la I can't fight no more.
And as many people have tried to coax me, 'Ada tu quota baru, Insya Allah rezeki anak tu nanti, sampai juga impian kamu tu...'
Masin mulut org sekeliling, makbul la juga doa mereka tu hendaknya. Amin...
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