Dah sebulan lebih x menulis. Alasan yg sama, of course. Time... or lack of. Itulah nya. Time, time, time. Kadang rasa mcm x tutup terus je blog, but then, maybe out of habit, bila ada cerita2 yg rasa nak kongsi, or cerita anak2 nk dokumenkan (I am forever haunted by guilt sbb x tulis cerita psl my second born as diligent as my first child, huhu), then teringattttt kat blog balik. But then I'm swamped with work, tinggal la plak blog ni gersang tanpa entry.
It's true though, bila dah sibuk dgn kerja, balik badan penat, layan anak2 lg, mmg by the time 10 p.m. rolls around, aku mmg org mengantuk disorongkan bantal. I do sometimes get up again (either super early or in the middle of the night) but these are reserved for deadlines. Naturally, blogging has no space in my already tight schedule. I tell myself, 'Later. Or soon. Or someday.'
But some things happened at work today which made me review my so-called 'work habit'. The perfectionist that I am, I don't like doing things in a haste. Things are usually properly thought out first. I don't do things half-heartedly. To me, if it's not worth doing, don't do it. I really am a micro-analyser, which can be an annoying trait to others. I realised that it's ok for me to carry on working like this and remain a slow-poke, but when it involves other people, sometimes I just need to learn to let go and know when to say stop. I nned to plan my things ahead of time. And also that I cannot expect people to work past certain hours or over the weekends, even when I don't mind some times.
I kept waiting for time to clear up, so that I can start writing long entries.
I kept waiting for work to subside, so that I can leisurely do the things I like.
I kept waiting for a huge block of free time, so that I can start having fun with my loved ones.
I kept waiting for the semester to be over, so I can "seriously" start with my research work.
I kept waiting for the right time for everything.
I kept waiting and waiting, but the time never came.
So I thought. Enough waiting. NOW is the time to do everything. What little time I have, don't wait. Be happy NOW. Write entries NOW. Tackle those huge pile of work NOW. Don't wait for tomorrow. I may not be able to complete all, do all, write long, etc, but that's not important. At least I am progressing.
Unless I'm just too darned knackered, that is. Heh.
Disclaimer: this post is absolutely useless. But man it feels good to write again, even if it's rubbish!