Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah. Acceptance.
Fast forward to mid-October. Two days before Eid. We were to celebrate Eid at my hometown in Kelantan. We were travelling in two cars; my Dad's and Hubs'. It wasn't a very memorable drive, just like any other trip to Kelantan, it was tiring. But to me, it wasn't just tiring, it was exhausting. It took every energy in me to keep my eyelids opened. It was safe to say I slept around 70% of the total travel time, much to the amazement and annoyance of Hubs who was driving. As a I co-pilot, I was supposed to navigate the way and help keep him alert but it was just too much a task for me to perform.
We arrived around 3 p.m. and I resumed sleeping (this time comfortably on a bed) until 6 p.m. When I woke up, almost everyone had gone out and about already; to Bazaar Ramadhan, to visit family nearby, etc. I was teased as the 'Sleeping Beauty' for sleeping too soundly to notice anything going on. Still, I didn't think to much of it, and blamed it on fasting.
Then it got to the night before Eid. That night, between being asleep and awake, I thought I saw something at the corner of my eye. Then I had a really bad nightmare, which made woke up and switched on the light until morning. When Hubs woke up for Subuh prayer, he asked why all the lights were on. I told him about my nightmare. And the little vision that I wasn't sure what to make of. His response were, 'I think you're pregnant'.
Which would have been totally ridiculous if I hadn't had the same experience the first time I got pregnant. You see, last time, before I even missed my period, I had a vision of something or someone just standing on the foot of my bed. Three days later, I got my positive pregnancy test stick.
I'd dismissed my husband's remark, as I was sure that I wasn't. To be honest, I hadn't tracked the functioning of my body since my last period in September. It was a weird cycle; for a start, it was late, then there was little blood in comparison to 'my' standard. My Mom and I were close, and when I mentioned this crazy cycle to her awhile back, she'd said, 'Everytime that happened to me, my period would cease to come the next month and I'd get pregnant.' Oookay... but mothers are like that. They always say things that are supposed to encourage you, so I rolled my eyes and let it pass at that.
Anyway, getting back to the story, it was Eid. So I celebrated. And visited families and friends and forgot all else. On the second day of Eid, my beloved anklet that I wore in remembrance of my lost angel (read about it here) had snapped its clasp. I was a bit upset, but nothing can be done as the jewellers were closed for Eid. After breakfast, we headed back to my Dad's village, and met a cousin of mine, Kak Nah, who was a really good Tukang Urut so I sort of let her messaged me. She commented something about my uterus, but I wasn't paying too much attention. According to her, my urat (nerves?) were all over the place and that she'd corrected them in place all for me.
Nothing much to write about the third day of Eid. On the fourth day, me and a bunch of us cousins went to Jeram Pasu. I thought we were just going to sit back and relax at the base of the waterfall, where it was most packed, but no, the guys wouldn't settle for some baby play area and wanted to climb up higher and higher to a secluded place. Here I was, unprepared for the climb, in my Eid sandals (okay, very dumb), huffing and puffing trying to catch up with the guys. At that point, I could feel my exhaustion had made a comeback, and I couldn't help but wonder, 'What if ...?' Argghh.. this whole 'not-trying-not-preventing' stage was playing with my head too much, but once we got to the higher ground, I began to let loose and enjoyed myself. I shrugged all thoughts off and told myself, if it was meant to be, it would be...
The next morning, we headed back to KL via the Cameron Highland route. Unlike the trip back to Kelantan, this time I was alert and awake most of the time and thought nothing more of it. Maybe I should've been able to pick up clues along the line already; like the unexplainable exhaustion, constant fatigue, the dream / vision, the broken clasp on my anklet, etc, but I was too oblivious. Besides, what mattered then was that I had a splendid time in Kelantan and life was good. But I had no idea it was about to get better ;)