Thursday, November 13, 2008

Home. Sick

Sebelum demam di depan klinik. Balik klinik baru demam. How ironic is that?

I am staying at home because I am sick. Demam. Huhu... the home which currently isn't my own home yet, coz kami still menumpang. Asalnya tghari Selasa tu jln kaki gi Mutley (tempat bakal umah baru kami terletak) utk daftar klinik (GP). Mutley ni jauh kalo nak jln kaki dari St. Judes (tempat host kami duduk), tp kunun excited x tentu psl nak exercise plus bole jimat duit punyer pasal, kitaorg pon menapak la. Pergi balik ada kot 8 km, which wouldn't have been so bad if the roads weren't hilly. Or if the weather wasn't so crappy (hujan renyai2, with winds).


Masa nak pegi tu Hubs dah suruh pakai topi yg ala2 snow cap tu, but I politely decline, coz, x macho la guek mcm nih. Pas tu Hubs suggested guna payung, which I shrugged off, psl kat UK ni serupa la x payah pakai payung, sbb bila hujan angin mestu kuat. Kalo nak rasa mcm mana rasanya Clarke Kent masa first2 dapat power utk terbang, bole la cuba bukak payung golf tu kat sini, hik hik. Plus I was like, 'Oh dulu masa kat UK x payah pakai pon topi ke, gloves ke, payung ke'. Yes, I was that angkuh. Hehe. I was forgetting one little fact, I have since grown older. A lot older, and as they say, bile dah beranak ni bodily function x kan sama lg mcm zaman anak dara dulu. Guess I have to surrender to that.


Anyway, kitaorg gi dafatr kat Lisson Grove Medical Centre. Bosan la sistem dia. Mmg kalo demam akan konfem akan kebah dulu sbb kena wat appointment in advance baru bole dtg. Kalo sakit sket2, beli aje la over the counter nyer meds. Kalo teruk sgt, gi je hospital. Dah la tutup klinik pukul 5 ptg. Sungguh rilek la doctor kat UK nih. Btw, at this point I was still as healthy as a horse.


Slps pendaftaran selesai, sekali lg kami balik jln kaki meredah hujan dan angin. Aisyah Alhamdulillah x affected, coz kami guna the plastic rainshield on her and so she was snug, warm n dry for the entire trip. Mmg angin atau air hujan pon x masuk, so best la dia.


Bgn pg esoknya, aku patut gi Uni ada kursus LaTeX, terpaksa emel n cancel, sbb x larat. Mula2 ok lg, lps tu jd sejuk yg amat2, walau pon dah masuk dlm duvet. Aku dah lupa apa rasa demam sebenarnya sbb dari masa pregnant sampai ke la ni belum pernah demam lg (Alhamdulillah for that). Test temperature dah 37.4C. Oh, dah feverish sket la. Mkn la Ibuprofen 2 biji sbb tahu sgt x de maknaya nak gi klinik skang.


Aku x tau la kenapa, tp lambat betul ubat2 kat UK ni berfungsi. Kalo kat Msia, mkn panadol 2 biji, setengah jam dah kebah. Kat sini, sejam lebih baru la nak terasa panas2 sket bdn tu. Mungkin sbb sejuk sgt kot. Ntah la..


Pulak hilang selera mkn, pening kepala, x sedap perut la, mcm2 lg. Aisyah plak asyik ajak main. Suka la dia, Ibu dia x gi school. Kesian budak tu x paham apa2. Masa ni mmg terasa nak balik Msia. At least kalo sakit, mesti balik umah my Mom hehe. Nanti sana mesti ramai aje yg sanggup jaga Aisyah kalo aku sakit, x de la dia keboringan.


Lagi masa demam tu la terbayangkan sup dgn bubur nasi. Allahu Akbar... Bole je buat, tp masa sakit x rasa larat nak bgn, plus masih duk umah org kan. Hati kecil ku berkata, kalo kat Msia, konfem dah bole order dah sup ni, sekejap je depa pi beli kat kedai makan dpn sana. Huhu..


Pas tu bila demam kat sini, sejuk sampai ke tulang. Apasal aku x teringat pon kesejukan masa duk Luton dulu? At least kat Msia kalo demam, rasa panas ke, leh duduk dlm aircon keh keh. Mcm2 la terpikir dlm kepala. Serius kalo x mengenangkan ticket flight tu mahal, and the long hours dlm plane, rasa nak bungkus kain balik jap :P


Plak tu dah sedia maklum kalo nak ke klinik pon x guna, sbb by appointment only. Kat Msia kan best, anytime je walk-in. Nak2 private clinic, lg best. Masa tu mahal pon x brp kesah, kan? Asal ada org treat kita. Sometimes demam ni psychology aje, dpt kuar umah naik keta lom sampai klinik dah baik. Usually gitu la aku. Tp kalo skang nak suruh keluar gi klinik (kalo ada la yg open pon), sorry la beb, x sanggup nak meredah sejuk ni. I'll pass.


And the weather makes the recovery real slow la aku rasa. Now aku paham apasal Che Fadh kita kata dia agak depressed and moody di kala winter. Sgt bosan! Herannya, apsal aku x ingat kebosanan itu? Atau adakah dulu2 x bosan? Sbb aku remaja lg ke masa tu? Sbb ada mak ayah n adik beradik bersama ke? Skang pon aku still di kelilingi keluarga terchenta, cuma kecik aje la saiz dia in comparison. Ke sbb aku dah jd ibu makanya tanggungjawab itu adalah lebih menekankan perasaan? X macam dulu kala masa aku tgh as carefree as a bird? And the fact that dulu aku wat GCSE n A-Levels je, skang PhD maaaa.... Or adakah otak aku menggunakan selective memory sahaja? Yakni mengingati apa yg best sahaja, dan lupa x ingat dah psl sejuk ke, psl the loneliness ke, psl life struggle ke (even as a teenager pon mesti ada struggles gak kat school kan? And as a Muslim student).


Tambah rasa self-pity apabila gi blog member2 di Southern Hemisphere, jd jeles coz diorg tgh summer... Untung nya org gi Australia & New Zealand, dtg2 tgh cuaca happening, panas tp breezy. Will summer ever comes in the UK? Rasa nak kait ngan galah matahari tu suh duk tegak atas UK ni hik hik...


Hubs plak siap tanya naper x pilih tempat lain utk buat PhD, like UPM? hehe... (still promote GSO tuh, x tahan, giler loyal mamat ni dgn tempat keja dia dulu). The only thing I can think of as an answer is that we were destined to be here, by a greater power, Who definitely knows that it is best for us, susah ke, senang ke, coz masa nak dtg tu, quota seriously dah abes licin, and I've also placed in offers from 2 different Universities in New Zealand pon, but lastly the big guns picked sini gak. Also, if I can only selectively remember the 'good' things from UK, and forget all the bad ones, then UK mustn't be that bad of a place, no? I'm prepared to give it some time and wait a little more. Patience is virtue :)


Oh, and yes, I am a little homesick now. Must be bcoz I was feeling unwell. You know how you feel unwell and suddenly remember your Mom and your family? Well, they came in my dream. Ah, pandai rindu jugak aku nih... Sob Sob.... Btw, Umai kata, the feeling of homesickness will get worst, coz awal2 x feel sgt, sbb sibuk n penat. Give it 3 weeks to a month, mula la x senang duduk. And she added, aku still tumpang umah dia, therefore not so bad coz ada teman berbicara dlm Bahasa Melayu and all that, but once aku dah move umah sendiri, mmg kesunyian itu akan menyelinap masuk. Tapi tabah lah, katanya, kerana kalo dpt stay for a year, bole la mengharungi the final two, Insya Allah . Doa kan utk kami di sini yeh :)


Gambar2 ada sket updated kat Picasa kalo nak tgk.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Jalan2 ke The Barbican As Tourists



Semalam jenjalan gi dekat kawasan tepi pantai di Plymouth ni, ala2 tourist gitu. Kawasan pantai tu namanya The Barbican. Rupe2 nya dekat sgt area kitaorg ni dgn pantai, mmg stone throw away je. 15 minit jln kaki dah bole nmpk dah air laut, serius! Tp yg aku tgk, pantai nye berbatu batan, standard la pantai UK, x mcm pantai kita, berpasir halus. Plymouth ni katanya in the summer, mmg jd watersport nyer paradise.

Diorg surf, canoeing, swimming, yachting etc. Tp aku gi smlm cuma tgk pemandangan je la, brrr... giler sejuk n berangin. Tp ada jg org tua yg giler gi mandi pakai speedo aje.. hmm....

Overall mmg best. Gambar2 aku letak kat picasa aku. Sila la jengok ke sana ye.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Oyis' Guide To Studying, A La Postgrad Mommy...

First off, find a good room to study. Reading must be done at a conducive place to maximize comprehension...



Put on a light sweatshirt to ward off the November chills ...



A hot chocolate by the side is always good. Keeps you hydrated, alert and warm. Now I'm so in my studying heaven. Let the reading begins...



Not a half hour has passed, and the little darling has woken up and decided that she wants a piece of the action and wants to be a PhD student just like Mommy. Or maybe she's trying to help out by reading half of Mommy's share of reading, so that Mommy'll have more time to play with her later. Bless her little thoughful soul. Either way, study = END.



As Aisyah has been exhibiting a deep interest in computers and books lately, I believe that she'll probably master the art of Internet surfing by her first birthday, start simple programming by age 2, and finish reading the entire line of books in Music and Artificial Intelligence at age 3. I, on the other hand, can only wish that my PhD is completed by that time. At this rate, it looks unlikely. I'll just have to leave the studying at the lab :P













Pics from Plymouth...

... from now on can be viewed at http://picasaweb.google.com/oyis08.
This does not mean that this blog has been shut down, far from it! It is merely a place where I chuck all the unedited (but censored - it's Aurat-free, don't worry) pics. Sometimes I have pics that I want to share, but not enough time /not interesting enough to blog about it. Intended for family members in Malaysia who misses Aisyah dearly (and her parents too), so some pics may seem really Aisyah-centred and very the Saiful Azlin clan oriented. Non-judgemental friends and blog readers are also welcomed to view :)
Cheers!

What Happened To My Frozen EBM?


Ada reader tanya psl my frozen EBM stock dari Msia tempohari. Selamat sampai ke?

Well, Alhamdulillah, selamat... daripada 51 botol yg dibawa, 8 didapati cair. Yg lain2 selamat dan beku. Ini adalah satu rahmat yg besar, sbb flight aje dah 14 jam, and trip to Plymouth took 4 hours, and duration dari airport hingga naik coach plak dekat 4 jam. All in all, 20 jam lebih la, and masih beku. Mungkin juga sbb fly ke negara sejuk kan, kalo kat iklim khatulistiwa x dpt la lama cam tu kot.

Plus maybe bcoz I used a total of 18 frozen ice packs and 2 sheets of Techni Ice. In my opinion, 18 is just about enough for 50 bottles, and any less is risky. The ice packs from Moms Little One's store are definitely longer lasting than the Techni Ice one. Tp ada 2 ice packs yg pecah juga, walaupon it says leak proof, maybe due to rough handling kt airport kot. Interestingly, EBM yg cair itu adalah botol yg duduk tgh2, yg duduk tepi2 x cair, suggesting that ice packs tu adalah sgt berguna, dan could be juga yg tepi keras lebih lama sbb weather sejuk kat luar so kena kat barisan luar dulu hehe...

Oh btw, aku bawak beg EBM tu as hand luggage, so it was inside the plane with us, and x termasuk la quota 20 kg sorg utk luggage tu. X tau la plak brape kilo berat beg tu. But if ada reader lain yg ada quota berat lg, better letak as luggage, bkn hand carry ye, sbb nya cuaca kt luar (dlm perut kapal terbang) is almost always a minus, e.g. -9C ke bawah.

Sampai2 kat Plymouth, terus masukkan dalam freezer yg kitaorg dah minta tolong si Zali ni belikan. Jd, x sempat la EBM tu cair. EBM tu plak telah ditest selamat Alhamdulillah, as Aisyah dah slmt minum pon 2 botol di bwh jagaan Ayah dia. Ok la tu, cuma Ibu dia je agak malas nak wat stock baru skang ni hehe... :P

Gmbr kat atas tu buktinya... Freezer ni agak dalam la, bagus sbb byk la ruang kosong tu. Dlm gmbr ni ada la dlm 40 botol.

Aisyah's New Skills

Sejak dtg sini, ada beberapa skills baru yg Aisyah dah dpt yg akan aku share dlm bentuk video. Antaranya...

Aisyah dah pandai berckp2 secara baby babble. (Maaf kualiti video teruk sbb ini adalah gmbr awal pg lps Subuh n lampu di UK ni hanyalah lampu kuning malap itu, mana ada lampu kalimantang u...)

video



Aisyah dah pandai duduk supported, and dah pandai claim hak milik sendiri. Tgk betapa dia x nak kongsi plastik yg dia pegang tu. (Plastik tu kecik aje n kitaorg mmg mengawasi dia masa dia pegang plastik tu in case of suffocation, jgn bimbang).

video



Aisyah dah pandai duduk ala2 piggy back ride atas tengkuk bapak dia. Again, still supported. Btw, itu diorg kat lab aku. Ye, kami berbondong2 pergi lab dgn selamba tidak mempedulikan org lain nak kata apa... muka tembok sungguh... hua hua hua...

video



Lastly, Aisyah dah pandai nyanyi. Also ini dirakam pd waktu bgn pg, and pada masa ni tahi adalah bertempek di bontotnya belum ditukar nappy, tp dia bole nyanyi dgn bahagia nyer.. (mula2 dia berckp2, lps saat ke 47 dia nyanyi, bear with me).

video

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

1st SV Meet

Hari Isnin lps, saat yg aku debar2 kan itu tiba jua. Masa utk bersemuka ngan SV buat pertama kalinya. Aku turun umah pon dah lambat, sbb lps Subuh tu aku pulun baca balik tesis aku in case dia soal what did I do (dah lupa, sbb dah setahun tinggal research MSc), n also siap2 kan Aisyah before I left the house. This was the first time aku tinggalkan Aisyah atas jagaan Hubs semata-mata. Alhamdulillah, dia nak plak duduk ngan Ayah dia n dia x tolak plak EBM tu setelah sekian lamanya dia BF direct drpd aku. Sometimes, as parents ni kita risaukan anak2 kita lebih, and being too overprotective, which results in taxing anxiety on our part, walhal bebudak x de masalah apa pon. Apa2 pon, aku bersyukur sbb Aisyah ni baik budaknya n x byk ragam, so bole la aku ke school ngan aman...

Okay, to start with, aku dah sesat beribu2 lemon kalinya sbb University of Plymouth ni slap bang in the middle of the town centre. Pegi selangkah, bangunan Uni, pergi depan sket, dah kedai2 biasa. Siap intertwined ngan pub2 lg kat skeliling. 'I'm more used to the traditional campus university, rather than a town university like this one...' adalah modal aku sambil tersenyum simpul tiap2 kali aku terpaksa tanya reception bila aku sesat (reception library, reception faculty of technology, etc...). Lebih parah lg, dlm map guna nama building, i.e. Babbage Building, Nancy Astor Building, Smeaton Building, tp dekat bangunan tu plak dia tulis Faculty of Arts & Design, Faculty of Technology, Faculty of Science... e.g. aku di Faculty of Technology, dan bangunannya adalah bernama Smeaton Building, camne tuh? X tally sungguh..

When I did find my SV, things got better. Prof M mmg byk idea best. He reminded me a lot of my prev SV, Dr S from UPM. Mmg sebijik la dari work ethics. Kalo ikutkan member aku si Wak tu, dia kata x yah la aku risau, SV sini x expect kita keja at least sampai lg sebulan. SV dia siap suh gi jln tgk2 London dulu, bawa family mkn angin, settle down, biar lapang otak, baru start research. Prof M? Oh, sungguh tidak. Dia expect aku kat opis 9 - 5 tau, and dia dah catit hari2 yg aku akan dtg opis (sbb skang aku bergilir hari ngan Zali utk ke Uni sbb nak keep a Muhrim home la kan, until I move to my own plac, coz x sesuai la plak my Hubs and his wife serumah aje nnt kalo we all berdua ke Uni). Also I need to inform dia in case aku sick or taking a day off sbb hal2 mustahak, in case he comes in for a 'chat' and discover I'm not here... Wow.. I'm not complaining, in fact, okay la tu, sbb aku mmg dah terbiasa di'train' gitu masa MSc, but man, the resemblance is uncanny...

Anyway, berbalik pd citer aku td. Lps 1/2 jam, Prof M tunjuk kat aku lab aku. Ok la size dia, bawah Prof M ni ada dlm 5-6 org PhD students, tp 2,3 org mmg dah write up la, so dah x byk dtg ke lab. In fact, ada yg dah balik nogori dah, abiskan write up kat sana. Aku agak Prof M ni suka amik student international kot, ada dari China, dari Spain, dari Brazil, and now with added Malaysian.

Yg kureng syoknya ialah lab mates aku semua laki. Aduh... intimidating sungguh. Aku terpikir dua perkara je, ok ke kalo aku keja sampai lewat mlm, and no2, camne la aku nak pump EBM nih? Still x de idea... Lg satu yg kurg best ialah meja aku mmg dikelilingi oleh 2 org post doc lainnya. Segan aku. Aku ni dah la the only female, Muslim dan berhijab, muka kanak2 ribena lak tu despite my age (ahem, org Asia mmg awet muda you...), pendek plak tu, di mata diorg la, kalo kt Msia ok je kot. Nak setup printer hari tu aku terjengket2 sbb printer tu dia letak agak tinggi, aku x nmpk apa yg tertulis kat skrin dia (Ready ke, Offline ke, Tray 1 Empty ke...).. Nasib badan sungguh...

Pastu org sini mmg serius la kat meja, tertekan aku. X tau la kalo dia chat ke. Mmg ada yg berbual2, tp aku rasa dia bkn berbual kosong la. Org depan meja aku ni mmg kuat berbual ngan aku, tp 60% perbualan kitaorg tu psl commercial value of having an automated music mood detection system. Mmg hot spot aku gak, dulu pernah terpikir nak wta benda ni utk PhD. Tp dah lama tinggal literarature ni, x ingat plak nama software free yg aku pernah download tu, and also paper2 sapa ntah yg aku pernah baca utk diquotekan. Fair to say that conversation tu wasn't so hot on my part la, pathetic sungguh... Note to self: lain kali baca apa2 yg interesting ingat sapa author dia utk diquote kan, sbb mana bole main petik sesuka hati dah at PhD level, mesti ada bukti kukuh...

Buat masa skang x de geng mkn lunch. As a matter of fact, keja pon x de sgt lg. Pura2 wat busy je dulu. Prof M ada bg reading material, tp cam x masuk sgt la kalo aku baca kat lab. Baca ptg td kat umah ok sket. Mungkin aku kena get comfortable and buang rasa rendah diri and self-conscious tu kot baru bole fokus kat lab. Time cam ni rasa nak lari balik UPM :P

Tp mengenangkan ini la namanya perjuangan, dan aku kat sini nak menimba ilmu terpaksa la. Kat sini sekuriti ketat, setiap lab kena swipe kad matrik kita yg telah di pre-programmed bilik mana kita bole masuk. Utk aku, bole masuk lab aku, toilet, library, bilik printer, reception office. Tu aje la, huhu... Satu lg bab security ni, mula2 aku dpt PC, terus log in and then nak install and download mcm2, tp access denied. Set up printer pon problem, even after dah dptkan IP. Malu dah aku sbb kelihatannya aku spt amat bongok nak set printer network pon x dpt. Last2 aku call tech support. Rupa2 nya dia minta no serial PC aku and then baru dia activatekan semuanya utk PC aku. Cam tu ke?

Ok itu saja la buat kali ni. Baik aku gi baca paper Prof M kasi. Esok ada discussion ngan dia lg. Aku akan try amik gmbr esok of my lab, but it's dead boring. Meja aku pon x de apa2 lg, so mmg lifeless le... Speaking of lifeless, aku balik dari Uni pkl 5 ptg. By that time, sudah gulap gulita kat luar n sejuk plak tu. Aku naik bas aje la, tambangnya 75p sahaja. X sanggup nak jln kaki...

The Weekend

Giler lama aku x update, bkn apa, mmg agak busy... plak kalo ada kelapangan sket contohnya masa Aisyah tido ke, aku biasanya ke bawah utk tolong host aku masak ke, (ye kami amsih menumpang), x pon masa tu je la aku dpt belek2 balik thesis aku dan pikir2 psl idea terbaru sblm aku berjumpa SV aku pada Isninnya tu. Anyway, kalo si kecil molek tu x tido, gini la jawabnya yg terjadi... Bkn main kepoh dia pon turut sama la nak nengok skrin tu, kalo bole nak masuk dlm skrin tu... Nasib baik la ayah dia layan kan aje la anak manja sorg tu...


Hari Ahadnya tu gi shopping sket. Nama shopping complex kat sini ialah Drake Circus. Pelik, kan? Tp x de la plak sarkas tu. X besar mana, tp ada byk kedai2 di sekitar tu. Best la jugak. Almost semua ada. Plak Uni seberang jln je from here, lg syok. Ni gmbr Hubs posing kt luar Drake Circus.


Kitaorg kalo shopping kat sini suka mkn kat Mark & Spencer nyer Expresso Bar, dia nyer roll & soup best, plus toast dia sgt sedap. Kalo aku ngan Hubs mkn, konfem amik soup & roll 2 set, 2 cappucino, 1 sandwich, 1 toast and sometimes beli cookie yg besar tu utk dessert. Tgk la gmbr di bwh, piring tu dah bertindan2 sbb x muat meja. Bkn apa, kita kan terbiasa mkn nasi utk lunch, mana bole tahan ngan roti sekerat tu ngan kopi secawan je. Apa lg, mat salleh sebelah menyebelah mmg jeling la, sbb mcm pelahap agaknya. Ala.. kitaorg kisah apa, bkn pakai duit dia pon. Dia x tgk lg kitaorg kalo mkn kat kedai mkn kat Msia camne, hehe... Nasib Aisyah ni rajin senyum n tegur diorg, so diorg pon agah2 la Aisyah balik...jd friendly la plak lps tu...


Lps seharian suntuk bershopping (ahem, dari zuhur sampai maghrib sbb masa siang kan pendek la ni, padahal baru shopping dlm 4 jam termasuk masa jln kaki dari umah ke town - jgn risau kitaorg solat kat dlm tempat breastfeeding, keh keh keh, mana nak dpt surau beb sini, x byk muslim), ni la Aisyah berposing dgn toys barunya yg dibeli di Boots. Sungguh warna warni dan berbunyi2. Hopefully bole merangsang la minda anak Ibu nih. Baju onesies atau omputih British ni panggil sleepsuit tu juga adalah baru.Mmg sini shopping haven la utk baby pompuan, berpinar mata aku .... Kena sendiri mau ingat la duit schoalrship tu utk belajar, ngeh ngeh ngeh...